Guy #1 flipping through showbill: So, what else has Mary Poppins done?
Girl #1: Greg*.
Guy #1: What?
Guy #2: Oh, yeah — you know Greg from work? Apparently he did the chick playing Mary Poppins back when they were both living in LA. He lost his virginity to her, in fact.
Girl #2: Wait, wait — you know a dude who cashed in his V card with Mary Poppins? Oh my god, that is just all sorts of awesome!
–Intermission of Mary Poppins
Ghetto girl: So, what are you doing Saturday?
Ghetto guy #1: I’ve got probation.
Ghetto girl: What? Man, you gay! When? 3:30?
Ghetto guy #1: Three.
Ghetto girl: … Thirty?
Ghetto guy #1: No, three.
Ghetto girl: … Thirty?
Ghetto guy #2: So, she was a virgin?
Ghetto guy #1: Yeah!
–6 train
Girl to friend: I don’t know, I’m looking for the right guy to take my virginity.
Hobo: Girl, you ain’t a virgin! Butt-sex does too count!
–34th & 3rd
50-ish female lawyer at reunion party: Hi! Remember me?
50-ish male lawyer: [Long pause] Sure. 1981. Twelve dates, a carriage ride in Central Park, and I couldn’t even get a hand job from you. How’s your virginity?
–Brooklyn Law School
Overheard by: Big Larry
Skank: So, being Mormon, you don’t have premarital sex right?
Mormon: Yeah, basically.
Skank: Oh…Nice talkin’ to ya.
Mormon’s friend: Wait! Come back!
–Libation, Ludlow & Rivington
Midwestern tourist girl #1: Hey, did I show you my new promise ring?
Midwestern tourist girl #2: Yeah, you did…Wait a minute. This one looks different. Omigod, did someone deflower you?!
–Baggage claim, LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: jujumac
Girl #1: Yo, it’d be so cute if we both lost our virginity this weekend.
Girl #2: But you’re not a virgin
Girl #1: Oh, right. Dammit.
Bum: If you ain’t a virgin, you must be a ho! Don’t come back to this church. This is God’s place.
–St. John the Divine
Overheard by: a fox
Girl: I think my mom’s a virgin.
–4 train
Overheard by: DRock
Teen girl #1: Let’s go in this store.
Teen girl #2: I don’t know…it looks kind of sketch. And there’s a weird guy staring at us.
Teen girl #1: Come on! What have we got to lose?
Teen girl #3: Um, our virginity?
–St. Marks
Teen girl: What the fuck is a morning rubber? I’ve got to get a morning rubber.
Chick: God, you are such a virgin! You put a morning rubber on a morning glory, for God’s sake.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Pi.
