The Rocky Horror Wednesday One-Liner Show

Old lady to grad student son: Hmmm, I never thought of it before, but pre-op transsexuals are like ABDs!

–98th & Broadway

Overheard by: Kobayashi

Hipster: This is New York! You’d think I could have a sex change and everyone would be okay with it!

–3rd & Lex

Overheard by: West Coast Courtney

Guy: So, let me get this straight — she was a fine-ass chick that looked like a dude that wasn’t a fine-ass chick, because she looked like a dude?

–Court St & Atlantic Ave

20-ish chick: I can’t believe how selfish she is. I mean, why wouldn’t she share her tranny?

–Brooklyn Burger Bar

Fat Italian guy in velvet running suit: Everybody fucks… We all fuck… But did she have to fuck a guy with tits?!

–Little Italy

Overheard by: Frank C.

Man: You’re right — I thought I was the only one that thought that the skinny little woman from Sex and the City and Jennifer Aniston look like trannies.

–Chambers St & W Broadway

Overheard by: sonny

Female student: Who would have expected that they would play the ‘Your dead brother is actually a woman’ card?

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Matthew

Posted on August 6, 2021
All Wednesday One-Liners, Trannies, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

We’re Losing the War on Wednesday One-Liners

Blonde on cell: It’s not a methadone program! You’re on methadone the whole time while you’re in there, but it’s not a methadone program!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: PNY

Frat boy: It’s liquid cocaine, and it’s going to be legal for at least another year!

–Lion’s Head Bar, 108th & Amsterdam

Dude: You just spray it and then snort it…

–33 W 19th Street

Overheard by: Uh, I never did it like that..

Man on cell: Man, you’re always high! Remember that construction job? No, of course you don’t — ’cause you were high!

–72nd & Broadway

Overheard by: Isaiah Tanenbaum

Lead singer: I sweat coke at Bikram Yoga.

–Crash Mansion

Queer on cell: And the one thing I should’ve been buying myself — drugs — he was buying for me.

–23rd & 7th

Overheard by: MR

Attorney on phone: She may smoke pot, but she’s absolutely responsible!

–Midtown East

Overheard by: Opie

Posted on August 1, 2021
All Wednesday One-Liners, Drugs, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

Wednesday One-Liners Are Eating Cat Food

Newspaper hawker: Close your umbrellas, people! You’re inside! You’re going to poke somebody’s eye out! Then they gonna sue you! Then you gonna be broke! Then you gonna throw yourself down the escalator!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Brawd

Black guy on cell: Niggas with no money are contagious!

–7 train platform, 74th & Broadway

Overheard by: Robyn Z

Flight attendant: Welcome to New York where the local time is 4:37. We know that you have a choice in selecting your air travel, and on behalf of the pilot and the crew I’d like to thank you for choosing our bankrupt airline.

–LaGuardia

Overheard by: Ldartjoy

Man on cell: There’s nothing worse than a poor snob.

–115th & Broadway, outside Columbia University

Hobo: Don’t anyone wanna donate to the broke-ass foundation?

–Houston St

Overheard by: Has been helped by that organization

Posted on July 25, 2021
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Columbia (& Barnard), Hobos, On the Subway, One-liners, Penn Station, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

Backdoor Wednesday One-liners

Drunk: If God didn’t want us to be gay, He wouldn’t have put our g-spot all the way up our ass!

–3rd Ave. between 11th & 12th

Overheard by: Zack

Fratboy: So if I tell her I wanna put my tongue up her ass, you think she’ll relate to me?

–1st Ave. & 10th St.

Overheard by: Sarah T.

Fiancee: OK, fine. You can have strippers at your bachelor party. But if I hear you stuck your dick in some nasty hooker’s ass, I’m never sucking it again.

–Port Authority

Overheard by: Mad William Flint

Woman: Yeah, whatever, Mr. Doesn’t-Know-What-a-Suppository-Is!

–The Angelica, Houston Street

Goombah: Nah, nah, nah…I’d suck a guy’s dick balls deep, but I would never eat a man’s ass. That’s just gay.

–Williamsburg

Posted on July 13, 2021
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asshole, Backdoor, Penis, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

Wednesday One-Liners for Pride Week, Part II

Guy: If I’m going to swallow sperm it has to be for love. That’s just how I feel, man.

–Outside the Wintergarden Theater

Overheard by: Dawn-Kate

Club-hopper: I don’t like that bar. But it’s a good scene if you want a 700-pound gay Republican sitting on your face.

–Typhoon, 18th & 8th

Overheard by: Sebastian White

Posted on July 9, 2021
All Wednesday One-Liners, Gays and Lesbians, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

I See London, I See France, I See Wednesday’s One-Liners!

Blonde: So, I woke up and Jessica’s underwear was still on my head…

–P.S. 1, Queens

Drunk dude on cell: I want to take the blue panties you left at my place and wear them on my face! … I said I want to wear your blue panties on my face!

–Grand Central

Chick on cell: I do have underwear in my purse in case I need it.

–113th & Broadway

Overheard by: Ladle

Lady to son: Well, it is never appropriate to ask a woman about her undergarments.

–20th & 8th

Hoochie: He offered me 10 dollars for my underwear, but I wouldn’t do it.

–St. Mark’s & 1st

Overheard by: Nina

Posted on June 26, 2021
All Wednesday One-Liners, Clothing, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

Hemorrhoidal Wednesday One-Liners

Girl on cell: Honey, they zapped my asshole.

–Outside Tribeca Grand Hotel

Girl to friends: There’s this boy in my class, and his name is Ash-oh-lee, but it’s spelled A-S-S-H-O-L-E, with an accent on the E… His mama named him Asshole!

–Bus, between 77th & 76th

Overheard by: It’s a Jersey thing

Queer on cell: Tell him that if his asshole tingles, he’ll know I’m near.

–Franklin & Broadway

Hobo: It doesn’t take a genius to see it. He’s a flaming asshole who needs to be spanked.

–Times Square

Overheard by: i wish i was a tourist sometimes

Man to friend: He’s a fuckin’ asshole… Even in a wheelchair he’s a fuckin’ asshole!

–9th St & 2nd Ave

Chick: Oh, he’s much better than any other guy I’ve dated… He’s not an asshole, he’s not Type A… My only problem with him is that he’s not depressed enough.

–Amore’s Pizza, 14th St

Overheard by: dues