Tight jeans #1: It’s like the only way to be a punk these days is to be a Republican.
Tight jeans #2: I know.
–2nd Ave, between 7th & 8th St
Overheard by: Tim
Tight jeans #1: It’s like the only way to be a punk these days is to be a Republican.
Tight jeans #2: I know.
–2nd Ave, between 7th & 8th St
Overheard by: Tim
Chick: I’m so glad for those, uh, Ramadan people.
Friend: Muslims?
Chick: Yeah, the UN was closed and I got to sit at home watching soap operas and eating cereal.
–6 train
NYU bimbette #1: I found out he’s uncircumcised.
NYU bimbette #2: I know. I can tell from the way he talks.
–NYU dorm lobby
Overheard by: ashamed
Tourist chick #1: What is ‘soup du jour’?
Tourist chick #2: You know, soup with all those little de jours in it.
Tourist chick #1: Oh, right.
–Quasi-French place, E 52nd St
Overheard by: Diner at same restaurant
Teen chick #1: So, what? Are you sick of all us girls now?
Teen boy: Yeah.
Teen chick #2: Why, because you’ve hooked up with all of us?
Teen boy: Yeah.
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Blonde chick: Oh my god, so there’s this playwright who died, and they’re like, putting on a re-… re-… Well, like, whatever it’s called, they’re putting it on. They’re reading some lines. But anyway, like, her brother who, like, my dad like, used to work with — well, he’s dead, too. And I’m like, ‘Why are you hanging out with your girlfriend’s daughter when I’m your real daughter?’
Friend: Oh my god, you should totally bitch him out.
Blonde chick: Oh, I will.
–Elevator, NYU residence hall
Chick #1: Pretty much every girl will sleep with anybody if she’s got a few drinks in her. But there are only, like, one or two guys she’ll have sober sex with. Right this moment, the only person I’d want to have sober sex with is Jake.
Chick #2: Why?
Chick #1: Because I’m fucking in love with him.
–R train
Hispanic woman #1: … And he was all, ‘You’re not sick, it’s your diet.’
Hispanic woman #2: But you’re not on a diet.
Hispanic woman #1: No, no, he meant what I eat makes me sick. Then I told him when I’m sick I take NyQuil, and he said I can’t do that.
Hispanic woman #2: Why not?
Hispanic woman #1: Girl, he’s a Holocaust.
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Lepidus
Girl looking at GRE study guide: I’m not very smart. I took a practice test the other day and didn’t do good.
Friend: ‘Well.’ You didn’t do well.
Girl: No, it’s ‘good.’ A person is ‘well’ — like, ‘I’m doing well,’ but a person can’t do something well, they do it good.
Friend: You’re wrong.
Girl: No, that’s how it is.
–Barnes & Noble, 5th Ave
Guy: I’ve been finding myself becoming more and more of a misanthropist.
Bimbette: I tried that once, but the chains were a bit much.
Guy: [Angry glare.]
–BBQ, 8th & University Pl
