Bartender dude: You gave up?
Guy: Yeah.
Bartender dude: I never give up. Even if I know I’m gonna lose, I’ll take you down with me.
Girl: A war of attrition.
Bartender dude: No, more like 69.
–Patio Lounge, Park Slope
Bartender dude: You gave up?
Guy: Yeah.
Bartender dude: I never give up. Even if I know I’m gonna lose, I’ll take you down with me.
Girl: A war of attrition.
Bartender dude: No, more like 69.
–Patio Lounge, Park Slope
Girl #1: You and Lori are friends, right?
Girl #2: Yeah, I guess. Why?
Girl #1: Curious. Did you guys talk about the guy she’s dating at all?
Girl #2: Nope. It’s hard to get past conversations that don’t have her sucking my dick. Ha, ha! Sorry.
Girl #1: Wait, what? Confused.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Ilysse Weise
Guy #1: You talk about cock more than girls I know who suck it every weekend.
Guy #2: Um, are you insinuating that I’m gay?
Guy #1: I don’t need to insinuwait anything.
Guy #3: You’re both gay.
Guy #1: Suck my cock, bitch.
–79th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: AChest
Drunk guy: Let me ask you something…What are the chances that you’ll let me take you home and blow you?
Sober guy: Not very likely.
Drunk guy: See, it’s just that my girlfriend is out of town and I really want to suck you off.
Sober guy: Um. No.
–75th & Columbus
A woman at the next table is eating kielbasa with cole slaw.
Queer: Ew, that is so gross!
Woman: Do you want to know what’s gross? Sucking on someone’s cock that has just been in your ass.
–Veselka, 2nd Avenue
Black woman: I’ll mess you up! I’ll be waiting for you downstairs, you man-on-man faggot! White trash!
White queer: You don’t scare me! I’ve dealt with the feds, I can
deal with you!
–Welfare office, Boerum Hill
Overheard by: Sheep Overhearder
Black woman: Take that bag off your back.
White man: All it takes are two words: “excuse” and “me”.
Black woman: I’m not saying nothing to you.
White man: Sorry, I see that you only use your mouth for one thing, and that’s sucking dick.
Black woman: You are so rude. Take that back.
White man: Okay, I am sorry. I take it back. You also use your mouth for eating, as seen by the size of your enormous ass.
–4/5 train
Two teens are watching Jeopardy! through a store glass window.
Teen boy #1: I can read lips; that guy said he liked to suck cock.
Teen boy #2: You mean, “What is, ‘I like to suck cock’?”
–14th & B
Overheard by: meghan
Girl: Yeah…but I have my period, so we can’t have sex.
Guy: That doesn’t matter. See? It just shows that I love you.
Girl: What it shows is that you want head.
–St. Marks & 3rd
Overheard by: Brock
Hippie guy on cell: Nathan, I don’t care how drunk you were, if you’re giving a blowjob, you know you’re giving a blowjob.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Mr. Donutsu
