Queer #1: So, what did you think of him?
Queer #2: I don’t see what he sees in him.
Queer #1: And he’s poor.
Queer #2: No! Why is he with someone that homely if he doesn’t have
money?
Queer #1: And did you see his teeth?
Queer #2: There isn’t enough money for me to stick my dick in that
mouth.
–81st & Amsterdam
Guy #1: She be sucking my dick, and she all in a motherfuckin’ hurry and shit. She gotta take it easy, she got to slow down.
Guy #2: No, no, no. Shit. She’s got to savor the flavor. Yeah.
–27th & 8th
Girl #1: So I was with my boyfriend last night.
Girl #2: So did you guys hook up?
Girl #1: Not really, I just went down on him.
–3 train
Overheard by: Skanero114
Grandma: Who is that? What’s the commotion about?
Teen girl: It’s Paris Hilton.
Grandma: Who is that?
Teen girl: She’s a media blowjob, Nana. Let’s get a move on, we’re
late and Daddy’s waiting for us at the hotel.
–41st & 6th
Overheard by: Brian Otano
Guy on pay phone: Hey Tom, it’s Jerry.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Matthew Suss
Teen guy: You owe me a buck, I didn’t complain about gettin’ no ass all day.
Teen girl: How about a blowjob instead?
Teen guy: You serious?
Teen girl: Sure…
Teen guy: I bet you wouldn’t be good anyways. It’s a whole dollar.
Teen girl: Well, you missed out…
Teen guy: How about you come to my roof sometime?
Teen girl: Man-whore.
Teen guy: You can’t call me that, I haven’t gotten any ass in months.
Teen girl: Ha, ha. I get more ass than you!
–E train
Overheard by: teenagersarefunny
Suit on cell: Hey, yeah…Yeah, I just got back from 100 Centre Street. Yeah, Georgie Boy was drooling over counselor’s dick…You know, Georgie Boy: Boy George…That’s right, on his knees drooling over counselor’s dick. Moron lives on Mulberry, right around the corner from 100 Centre Street. They found like six bags of blow, says lots of people stay there, not his, whatever. But he’s shitting in his diaper…What?…Yeah, just six bags, whatever. But he’s drooling over counselor’s dick. I told him, “Don’t worry Georgie Boy”–we only call him “Georgie Boy”–I told him, “Don’t worry, you have a Jewish lawyer.” Do you really want to blow me?…Huh? What?…No!
–Russian & Turkish Baths, East 10th Street
Overheard by: Trey Desolay
Guy #1: Hey. Do you want some blow?
Guy #2: Um, excuse me, but that’s my dad.
Guy #1: Oh. Sorry…Whatever. I meant blowjob.
–Spirit, West 27th Street
Overheard by: e jack
Guy #1: If I had a dollar for every time I saw her blowing a guy…
Guy #2: You’d have a lot of dollars?
Guy #1: One.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Amy Q.
Hipster girl #1: I mean, I feel bad for not finishing him, but I didn’t want to break the tradition. He’s never been finished before right?
Hipster girl #2: Never, and I think he’s a little traumatized ever since that girl threw up on his…you know.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
