Chick #1: Oh my god! You have Sonic the Hedgehog on your phone?! I used to love his partner. What was her name? Oh, yeah, it was ‘Tails’!
Chick #2: Yeah, they used to call me that at my old job.
Chick #1: They used to call you ‘Sonic’ at work?
Chick #2: They used to call me ‘Tails,’ not ‘Sonic,’ motherfucker.
–L train
Overheard by: yooo nellehh!!!
Professor, as a cellphone rings in class: You can e-mail me and I can send you different bird calls for your ringtones. You can assign all your friends different bird calls! That’s just like what I have, except I have frogs.
Student: She’s not kidding…
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Mo + J Beck
Texting guy: Hey, I tried to type ‘nipple pasties,’ and the phone knew the word ‘pasties’!
Friend: … Why are you texting ‘nipple pasties’?
–Wyckoff & Stanhope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: smh
Guy #1: God, this girl is a terrible text messenger. Look at this — it doesn’t make any sense!
Guy #2: Yeah.
Guy #1: You love texting, though, right?
Guy #2: Yeah, and it’s only gonna get worse when I get my BlackBerry. I plan to cut off voice communication altogether.
–The Burger Joint
Overheard by: sarah
Drunk man on pay phone: What are you doing? … You weren’t waiting for me to call, motherfucker! You were not! You motherfucker…
–106th & 2nd
Seven-year-old girl on cell: I’ve been getting hundreds of calls today.
–95th & Broadway
Chick on cell: Oh, and happy birthday, to your face. Well, your phone-face.
–12th & 2nd
Angry lady on cell: You have a Sprint phone? You son of a bitch!
–11th & 3rd
JAP on cell: The iPhone makes you look fat? You’re crazy… It really does?
–Duane Reade, 28th & Park
Lady to man on cell: Wait, how are you on the phone?! Why do you have service underground?! What kind of service do you have that it works in the subway?!
Man on cell, deadpan: I’m James Bond.
–Stalled subway at tunnel before 34th St
Bimbette #1: So then I got a text from him this morning [shows friend text message]. I mean, who forgets if they have sex?
Bimbette #2: Haha… There’s not even a ‘hello’ or punctuation… Just ‘Did we have sex.’
Bimbette #1: I know!
Bimbette #2: Well, did you?
Bimbette #1: I’m not sure…
–Central Park
Voice of girl #1 from cell: Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Can you hear me now?
Girl #2, into cell: Well, if you would shut the fuck up, then I could hear you!
–Houston & Broadway
Professor, as student’s phone rings in class: Wow, that was loud. What band is that by?
Student: Well, I don’t remember what the song is called, but it’s by Panic! at the Disco.
Professor: Hmmm… I once panicked at the disco…
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Sromeo
Ghetto nerd chick #1, to girl talking about Harry Potter on cell: Aw, hell, no she didn’t! I have not been reading that shit since I was 13 to have the final ending fucked up by some crackwhore-looking bitch on her stupid pink faggot phone! Oh, fuck you, bitch! Fuck you! I’m going to kill you, feed you to wolves, then nuclear bomb the entire planet!
Ghetto nerd chick #2, into cell: I know, yeah… What? Oh, just some crazy bitch. Yeah, and can you believe that they killed off–
Ghetto nerd chick #1, covering her ears and singing: –Stuck on a train with a big fat whore. Stuck on a train. La-lala-lala…
–S train
