Texting guy: Hey, I tried to type ‘nipple pasties,’ and the phone knew the word ‘pasties’!
Friend: … Why are you texting ‘nipple pasties’?
–Wyckoff & Stanhope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: smh
Texting guy: Hey, I tried to type ‘nipple pasties,’ and the phone knew the word ‘pasties’!
Friend: … Why are you texting ‘nipple pasties’?
–Wyckoff & Stanhope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: smh
Guy #1: God, this girl is a terrible text messenger. Look at this — it doesn’t make any sense!
Guy #2: Yeah.
Guy #1: You love texting, though, right?
Guy #2: Yeah, and it’s only gonna get worse when I get my BlackBerry. I plan to cut off voice communication altogether.
–The Burger Joint
Overheard by: sarah
Drunk man on pay phone: What are you doing? … You weren’t waiting for me to call, motherfucker! You were not! You motherfucker…
–106th & 2nd
Seven-year-old girl on cell: I’ve been getting hundreds of calls today.
–95th & Broadway
Chick on cell: Oh, and happy birthday, to your face. Well, your phone-face.
–12th & 2nd
Angry lady on cell: You have a Sprint phone? You son of a bitch!
–11th & 3rd
JAP on cell: The iPhone makes you look fat? You’re crazy… It really does?
–Duane Reade, 28th & Park
Lady to man on cell: Wait, how are you on the phone?! Why do you have service underground?! What kind of service do you have that it works in the subway?!
Man on cell, deadpan: I’m James Bond.
–Stalled subway at tunnel before 34th St
Bimbette #1: So then I got a text from him this morning [shows friend text message]. I mean, who forgets if they have sex?
Bimbette #2: Haha… There’s not even a ‘hello’ or punctuation… Just ‘Did we have sex.’
Bimbette #1: I know!
Bimbette #2: Well, did you?
Bimbette #1: I’m not sure…
–Central Park
Voice of girl #1 from cell: Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Can you hear me now?
Girl #2, into cell: Well, if you would shut the fuck up, then I could hear you!
–Houston & Broadway
Professor, as student’s phone rings in class: Wow, that was loud. What band is that by?
Student: Well, I don’t remember what the song is called, but it’s by Panic! at the Disco.
Professor: Hmmm… I once panicked at the disco…
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Sromeo
Ghetto nerd chick #1, to girl talking about Harry Potter on cell: Aw, hell, no she didn’t! I have not been reading that shit since I was 13 to have the final ending fucked up by some crackwhore-looking bitch on her stupid pink faggot phone! Oh, fuck you, bitch! Fuck you! I’m going to kill you, feed you to wolves, then nuclear bomb the entire planet!
Ghetto nerd chick #2, into cell: I know, yeah… What? Oh, just some crazy bitch. Yeah, and can you believe that they killed off–
Ghetto nerd chick #1, covering her ears and singing: –Stuck on a train with a big fat whore. Stuck on a train. La-lala-lala…
–S train
Chick yelling out window of hybrid SUV: I’m a better driver than you, and I’m texting at the same time!
–Westside Hwy
Overheard by: Glad I’m walking
Black guy to no one in particular: Do you have Michael Jackson’s phone number? [Taps on cab window] Do you have Michael Jackson’s phone number? [To a little girl in stroller] Do you have Michael Jackson’s phone number?
–58th & 9th
Overheard by: Jofo
Secretary-General of the model UN: Before we go, this phone was found in the bathroom — it’s a pink RAZR… It says ‘Stud muffin’ on it.
–United Nations
Crazy guy handing out Sprint flyers: Free camera phone! Soon you’ll be eating the robots!
–Outside Sprint, Broadway & Washington Pl
Overheard by: Deby
Hipster girl, addressing iPhone campers: You’re waiting for a phone?! I can understand if it was for cupcakes…
–Prince & Greene
Overheard by: non-mac nerd
Lady: What are you all waiting for?
26th guy in line for iPhone: The new Harry Potter book.
27th guy in line: Shrek 4.
28th guy in line: Free crack. [Lady walks away.]
–AT&T store, Union Square
