Crimes

Acting professor: We just tweaked a few things to make it Christmassy and kidnapped Santa.

Point Park University
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: ZB

Guy to girl wearing multi-colored cowboy scarf: You're like a rainbow bandit. It's like you're going to rob me… With niceness.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Cop: You know there’s a warrant out for your arrest, right?
Guy with arm in cast: Oh, really?
Cop: Yeah… So we should probably have a chat about that.

Town Court
Duanesburg, New York

Overheard by: 91 in a 65

Girl stopped at a gas station refueling: Get out of my trunk now! People are going to think that I kidnapped you!

Charlottesville, Virginia

Overheard by: A Concerned Friend

Guy to girlfriend: If I go to jail for you, you better get your tits done.

Viewmont Mall
Dickson City, Pennsylvania

Girl: He's like a pedophile, but for some reason that just makes me like him more.

Santa Cruz, California

Girl, looking at video games: If I had a sword that pimp, I would just kill people all day and run around.
Boy following her: Girl, if you had a sword that pimp I would stop being gay and make you stop to make love to me.
Girl, looking appalled: I’d be busy killing people, though.
Boy, matter-of-factly: Well… I’d make you stop every thirteen kills.

Random Walmart
Boise, Idaho

Overheard by: Bunnee

Teacher: So… then, what should happen to the guy?
Student #1: I think he should be sent to jail.
Student #2: I think that since he killed his neighbor, he should have to be killed himself. Get the death penalty. Ya know… “eye for an eye”.
Student #3: That's the stupidest thing in the world. It doesn't work in all situations.
Student #2: Yes it does! Let's say some guy molests a kid, then the guy should… (pause) Ok… Nevermind.

High School
Illinois

Well dressed woman on cell: No, no, no. That’s the problem, I can’t just shoot her because she is on my property. She has to be like breaking into the house or something… We’ll have to find another way.

Maket East Train Station
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Mom, yelling to small boy as he wanders towards street performer: Fine, if that’s what you want, get stolen!

Ottawa
Canadia