Suit: Excuse me, do you know how to get to Wall Street?
Warehouse employee: Qué?
–Outside a shady warehouse, Bed-Stuy
Overheard by: sean
Suit: Excuse me, do you know how to get to Wall Street?
Warehouse employee: Qué?
–Outside a shady warehouse, Bed-Stuy
Overheard by: sean
Lost tourist on cell, blocking the crosswalk with her luggage: I’m standing on the corner of 42nd and 3rd.
Passing native: Yeah, and in everyone’s mothafucking way.
–42nd & 3rd
Overheard by: She was in my way too
Conductor: We know it’s Monday, and we’re sorry, but we still want to wish you a good week.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Hates Mondays
Conductor: This is the 5:50 super duper express train to Great Neck.
–LIRR
Overheard by: vm
Conductor: This is an uptown D train, making stops to wherever I want.
–Uptown D train
Overheard by: tired commuter
Conductor: 207th Street. Last stop. Everyone wake up and get the fuck off my train; I want to go home. Thanks for riding MTA.
–Uptown A train, 207th St
Overheard by: How far north can you go?
Conductor: Stand clear of the…uh…opening doors.
–Q train, 57th St
Overheard by: K. Chas
Conductor: Everybody out. This is the last stop on the Manhattan bound L train. You must use the Brooklyn bound L train and connect to the G to the A or C trains for service to Manhattan. [The train empties] Hahaha. Just kidding! Everybody back on. This train is going to Manhattan.
–Manhattan bound L train
Overheard by: Taylor G.
Conductor: Good morning, Manhattan, it’s Friday. We can do this! This is a Brooklyn bound 1 train. It’s 7:54. You’ve got plenty of time!
–1 train
Man #1: Do you need help getting anywhere?
Momo #1: I dunno.
Momo #2: Umm, what’s that place? Penn something?
Momo #3: We need to go downtown to Grand Central Station.
Man #1: Oh, okay. You’re fine. You need to keep going uptown on this train.
Momo #2: Are you, umm, sure? ‘Cause it says we need to go downtown.
Momo #1: Maybe there’s more than one Grand Central, stupid.
Momo #2: Shut up!
Momo #1: Excuse me, is there more than one?
Woman: No, you ladies are fine. There’s only one, and you’re on the right train.
Momo #3: That’s so stupid. These directions told us we need to go downtown.
Momo #1: Yeah, like what’s up with that?
Man #2: It depends on where you start. If you were north of Grand Central you would have to go downtown, but if you were south of it you need to go uptown.
Three momos stare vacantly at man #2.
Woman: This is your stop, ladies.
Momo #2, walking off the train: This is probably the wrong Grand Central.
–Uptown 6 train
Overheard by: Beerinder
Lady: Hey, how do I get to Court Street?
Hobo: Two blocks that way…See, we’re not all that bad. You got any change?
Lady: No, I know. Shut up. I’m a social worker.
–Brooklyn Heights
Tourist: Yeah, we’re looking for The Olive Garden.
Cop: Really?
–43rd & 7th
Overheard by: Seriously?
Tourist #1: Y’all! Didya look at the map? It weren’t on the map, I’m tellin’ ya!
Tourist #2: I’m lookin’ right here at this map an’ it don’t say nothin’ that I don’t already know.
Tourists #2 and #3 start to cross the street.
Tourist #1, screaming: Y’all! It ain’t that way!
Tourist #3: Stop talkin’ so damn country. You gonna get us shot!
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Vicky
Man #1: I can’t find a Century 21 anywhere! Excuse me, sir, do you know where I could find a Century 21?
Man #2: The only one I know of is right by the twin towers.
–Madison Sq Garden
Overheard by: on his way to madonna
Drunken friend: That looks like the place to be! I’m going in that room.
Sober friend: Dude, that’s a mirror.
–Rivington & Clinton
Tourist man: Pardon me, officer, can you tell us where Orchard Street is?
Cop: See that naked Chinese guy?
Tourist man: Ummm…Yeah.
Cop: Walk down to him and make a left.
Tourist man: Um, thanks.
Cop: No problem.
–Delancey & Allen
Overheard by: Isaac
