Conductor, over speaker: Grand Avenue-Newtown will be next, stand clear of the closing doors…
Lady on train: Wait, what'd he say?
Conductor, over speaker: Wait, what'd he say?
–R Train
Overheard by: Kevin
Conductor, over speaker: Grand Avenue-Newtown will be next, stand clear of the closing doors…
Lady on train: Wait, what'd he say?
Conductor, over speaker: Wait, what'd he say?
–R Train
Overheard by: Kevin
30-something mom: Darnell, how many times do I gotta tell you not to walk down the stairs on the left side when there’s people coming up?
Nine-year-old: But Maaama, you always tol’ me to make my own path!
–F train platform, W 4th
Cheerful female conductor: This is the express train. That means it's not not not not not not not the local train. Don't screw up.
–Metro-North Rail
Overheard by: Lynne
Conductor: Behold! This is Woodside! Change here for the former Shea Stadium, now Mets-Willets point. Have a great time!
–LIRR
Conductor: After Syosset, the next stop will be express, directly to Hunters Point Avenue. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.
–LIRR
Overheard by: morningcommute
Conductor: There is an uptown express train across the tracks. When the doors open, get off if you want to get off. Don't just stand there looking at it.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: Julie
Conductor, as doors open for passengers: Ladies and gentlemen, we know you've been waiting a long time for a train… (doors close abruptly) Wait for another.
–Q Train
Hipster on cell: Okay. After my nap. Call me from the park once you are covered in glitter and I will come down.
–14th & B
Hipster chick: I’m totally boycotting the sun this summer.
–L train
Overheard by: Matt Ferrin
Guy on cell: …and I just told him, “I don’t care what you say. As far as I’m concerned, I am the star of a Broadway musical.”
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: Bridget Unnel
Girl #1: Do you think there are more places to eat this way or that way?
Cop: Well, there are four that way, and two this way, but the better places are this way.
Girl #2: Can you recommend a good place to eat then?
Cop: Uh, there’s supposed to be somewhere good on the corner of Spring and Mulberry.
Girl #1: Do you know the name of the place?
Cop: Maybe Lugi’s or Lombardi’s or something, some woppy Italian name.
–Little Italy
Overheard by: San Gennaro Reveler
Brit lady, to MTA booth lady: Two adults, please. We’ll be getting off around 58th Street.
–14th St F station
Overheard by: Fidget
Tourist: Excuse me, does the F train stop here?
–Subway sandwiches, Houston & Lafayette
Tourist woman, loudly: Jeany? How many stops are we going on this train?
–Times Square shuttle
Overheard by: nevermind
Tourist: Excuse me, which way is it to Upper Town?
–Broadway & Worth
Overheard by: dukes
Tourist: Is this now the Grand Canyon of the East Coast?
–Ground Zero
Tourist: My plane doesn’t leave for 4 hours. Can I walk to the Statue of Liberty from here?
–La Guardia Airport
Overheard by: Jose Hernandez
Tourist, leading a group of more than a dozen fellow tourists: Okay, I… um…don’t know where we are now…Oh, wait! Yes I do! We’re at the South Street Seaport!
–Union Square
Blonde: Look, there’s the Chrysler. Look, there’s Times Square. Where’s the Empire State Building?
–Top of Empire State Building
Overheard by: englishman in new york
Tourist, to deck hand: I can’t see the Statue of Liberty. Would you please move the lifeboat out of the way while I take a picture?
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Steven Lowell
Dude #1, while crossing Yankee stadium: Dude, are we in Staten Island yet?
Dude #2: Are you retarded?
–4 Train
Crazy lady: Where are we?
Stranger: New York City.
Crazy lady: Should I call 911?
–Amtrak
Overheard by: tj
Tourist: How do you know which ones are going where?
New Yorker: Which ones? Well, they have a 4, 5, or 6 number on them, and they’re all going uptown.
Tourist: But we’re going to 68th street, and they’re not all going there. How do you know which ones are making which stops?
New Yorker: Oh, well…You just kind of know.
Tourist: Oh. Well, we’re just gonna follow you.
New Yorker: Okay.
–4/5/6 station, 59th St
Overheard by: trish
Mom: We gotta figure out where the hell we’re going.
Child: Maybe you should ask a police officer or a security guard.
Mom: I’m not asking them anything. They don’t know shit. Learn that in life: never ask anyone anything ’cause they don’t know nothing.
–33rd & 7th
