Woman #1: Excuse me, is this the right way to Canal Street?
Woman #2: Yeah, keep walking north, you can’t miss it.
Woman #3: It’s about 4, 5 blocks.
Woman #1: Oh, OK…is that where you can get the stuff?
–Church & Thomas
Overheard by: Becka
Woman #1: Excuse me, is this the right way to Canal Street?
Woman #2: Yeah, keep walking north, you can’t miss it.
Woman #3: It’s about 4, 5 blocks.
Woman #1: Oh, OK…is that where you can get the stuff?
–Church & Thomas
Overheard by: Becka
Tourist boy: I thought Grand Central station was huge. Like, a whole city underground and stuff.
Tourist girl: Wait.
–6 train, pulling into Grand Central station
Overheard by: Jonathan
Tourist: Where is Saks Fifth Avenue?
New Yorker: On Fifth Avenue, you moron!
–46th & 6th
Woman #1: Excuse me, does the N train stop at Central Park?
Woman #2: Lady, go ask a fucking crystal ball, or learn how to read a damn subway map.
–Union Square station
Overheard by: Craig D
A truck driver is parked on the side of the road, honking at what appears to be nothing at all. A female pedestrian shoots him a dirty look.
Truck driver: Nobody’s honking at you, you dumb bitch!
–Bay Ridge
Tourist: Which way is the Empire State Building?
Newspaper vendor: What do I look like, a fuckin’ road map?
–outside Grand Central
Overheard by: Dork
A trendy guy walked out into oncoming traffic, forcing an SUV to slam on the brakes. The driver screamed out of his open window: The hell you think you are, my hood ornament?
–40th & 7th
Tourist: Excuse me, but do you know how I can get to Penn station?
Woman in camo: Do I look like a fucking tour guide?
Tourist: Now that’s what I came to New York to find!
–5th & 82nd
Conductor: This is the last train. You have no other options, this is it. Get on this train.
–Metro North Rail
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, please keep your feet off the seats on this train. They belong on the floor; that's why it's there. If you can't put your feet on the floor because your luggage is there, don't worry: we took care of that too. Look up. That thing above your head is a luggage rack.
–NJ Transit, Penn Station
Announcement on NJ transit train: If you have young children, please take them…by the hand when leaving the train.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: JerseyJR
Train conductor: This is 18th Street, if this is your stop…get up! Give up that seat!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Chris K… at 11pm
Amtrak conductor: We are experiencing engine problems and need to change trains. But I want you to know that we have lost no altitude.
–Amtrak Train
Conductor, philosophical about delayed train: We don't usually have this type of delay at this time of day. But, well, here we are… (train starts to move) Aha! Here it is!
–A Train
Overheard by: Katie J
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, do you know where you are? (passengers are silent) I do! Hudson, next stop.
–Amtrak Train, Leaving Penn Station
(in front of the steps of The Metropolitan Museum of Art)
Tourist: Excuse me, do you know where The Met is?
Pissed off local woman: Walk seven blocks that way, take a left and walk four blocks.
(tourist walks away)
Pissed off local woman to friend: The next time someone asks me that, I’m giving them directions to the Bronx.
–82nd & 5th
Overheard by: olivia
Conductor on PA: 34th Street next, stand clear of the closing doors.
Hobo, to self: 34th? You could get killed!
–A Train
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Six-year-old kid to lost-looking mother: So, where's downtown?
Mom: Well, it's not uptown!
–42nd Street Subway Station
Overheard by: Excellent deduction, Watson.
Man on subway: Does this train go to 125th Street?
Woman: No. It's going downtown.
Man on subway: Oh, shit. I gotta go to 125th Street and suck a dick to get some crack.
–1 Train
Suit to security guard: Which elevator goes next door?
–1 Penn Plaza
Overheard by: Nora
Hot dog vendor: To go?
–Hot Dog Stand, 62nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Chrissy
Woman holding Dunkin Donuts mug to employee: Excuse me, can this mug hold cold drinks as well, or just hot ones?
–Dunkin Donuts, 76th & York
Woman: Crepe cafe? What do they do there? (comes closer) Ohhhh, they make crepes?
–Crepe Cafe Cart, W 50th St
Overheard by: Dianora
20-something girl to friend: What are we even walking for again?
–Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk, Central Park
Laughing, genuinely amazed Columbia underclassman: Isn't it, like, amazing, how we know what is food and what isn't food?
–W 114th Street b/w Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Conductor: Next stop is…where am I?
–Uptown 1 Train
