Chelsea Takes a Trip North

Guy #1: You talk about cock more than girls I know who suck it every weekend.
Guy #2: Um, are you insinuating that I’m gay?
Guy #1: I don’t need to insinuwait anything.
Guy #3: You’re both gay.
Guy #1: Suck my cock, bitch.

–79th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: AChest

Drunk guy: Let me ask you something…What are the chances that you’ll let me take you home and blow you?
Sober guy: Not very likely.
Drunk guy: See, it’s just that my girlfriend is out of town and I really want to suck you off.
Sober guy: Um. No.

–75th & Columbus

Posted on November 28, 2005
BJs, Drunks, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Because That’s Where Babies Come From

Drunk girl #1: Oh my god, you have camel toe!
Drunk girl #2: Why are you looking at my pussy?

–2nd Avenue between 7th & St Marks

Posted on November 27, 2005
Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Girls, Questions, The Village, Vagina

Wednesday One-liners Come Together

Drunk woman: They’re married, those two are together, you and I are alone and it sucks, so get over it!

–Carmine’s, West 44th Street

Overheard by: Emily

Posted on November 23, 2005
All Wednesday One-Liners, Drunks, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Relationships

Elephant Man III: The Drunk

Drunk teen girl #1: We both really need to stop drinking, you’re drinking three times a week now.”
Drunk teen girl #2: Yeah, well, there’s nothing better to do around here.
Drunk teen girl #1: You’re turning into an alky.
Drunk teen girl #2: I’m not an alcoholist!

–J train

Overheard by: christina

Posted on November 10, 2005
Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Stupidity

More Like a Pickle

Sober black guy: Oh no, call the ambulance, white man down!
Drunk white guy: I know, I’m such a cracker!

–Lexington & 22nd

Overheard by: Zane Gould

Posted on November 5, 2005
Black People, Drunks, Murray Hill and Gramercy, White People

Cyrano Presents: Wednesday One-liners

Drunk guy: Cleopatra! Let down your hair!

–89th & 2nd

Posted on November 2, 2005
Drunks, Hair, History & Geography, One-liners, Stupidity, Upper East Side

They Still Haven’t Quite Untied Her

Drunk guy #1: …and so she’s totally got clown makeup on from banging him the night before.
Drunk guy #2: Dude, rodeo clowns are tough shit.

–Fish Bar, E. 5th Street

Overheard by: Samantha

Posted on October 27, 2005
Bars & Clubs, Drunks, Sex, Weirdness

You’ll Just Be Blueballed

Drunk girl: I love scrotum!
Guy: Dude, we should completely ask her to come home with us.

–10th & Broadway

Overheard by: danie

Posted on October 25, 2005
Balls, Creepsters, Drunks, One Night Stand, The Village

This is What Waldo Has Done to a Generation

Drunk girl: Can you tell me where 3rd and 12th is?
Guy: You’re standing on it.
Drunk girl: Do you know where Bar None is?
Guy: Right under that huge Bar None sign.

–3rd Avenue between 12th & 13th

Overheard by: kristcollekt

Posted on October 24, 2005
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Directions, Drunks, NYC Geography, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village

Drunks