Chick #1: My gym teachers always let us sit and read.
Chick #2: What does that work out?
Chick #1: Um, your mind.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: your humble narrator
Chick #1: My gym teachers always let us sit and read.
Chick #2: What does that work out?
Chick #1: Um, your mind.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: your humble narrator
Ghetto teen #1: He got like a 3.8 or somethin’, and nigga cried.
Ghetto teen #2, to black girl squealing with laughter: You think it’s funny, bitch?
–A train, 168th St
Professor: … So metaphorically speaking, that’s why the descent into the subway is like going to Hell.
Student: That’s ridiculous.
Professor: Really? Why not? It’s very hot and sweaty down there, not to mention if you fall onto the tracks or touch the third rail, you’re dead.
Student: What’s wrong with being dead?
–Borough of Manhattan Community College
Overheard by: vic
Conductor: This is West Fourth Street. Transfer is available to the A, C, E, F, and V trains.
Four-year-old girl: Mommy, he doesn’t sing his ABCs right.
Mom: That’s because he didn’t go to college.
–A train
Black girl: Yo, white boy! Yo, white boy! [White guy ignores her, so she follows him.] White boy! Yo, white boy!
White guy: What?! How would you like it if I yelled, ‘Hey, black girl! Hey, black girl!’?
Black girl: No! It’s okay! I’m white — I went to Pratt.
–Bed-Stuy
High school student #1: I hate history. I’m flunking it, man.
High school student #2: Yeah, dude, I hate history. All we learn about is old stuff.
–2 train, 42nd St
Latina #1 pushing stroller: Mira! Today was the first day of David’s school!
Latina #2: Damn! It start so quickly already?
Latina #1: Yeah, I went to drop David and met with the principal. He seemed a bit shady.
Latina #2: Shady? Like how?
Latina #1: I dunno. He was going on about how he treat everybody in school like his own children. I was like, ‘Hold up! What family has so many kids, anyway?’
–9th & 4th
Woman: He’s very successful. I’m sure he’s a millionaire by now, and he’s only 26. He never even graduated from college.
Queer: I’m soooooo jealous. I wish I didn’t have an education.
–Mott & Houston
Student, after two-hour lecture on Charles Darwin: Yo, professor?
Teacher: Yes, Phyllis?
Student: That Charlie — he da man!
Teacher: Indeed! Charlie is the man, Phyllis! Excellent!
–Queensborough Community College
Overheard by: Just trying to pass…
Student: Do I need to do the math extra credit project?!
Teacher: Yes, because on Friday when you come to me and ask if you are failing, I’m gonna laugh at you. Then you will go home and tell your family that I laughed at you. Then they will come up to school and yell at me and I’ll laugh at them.
–Forest Hills school
Overheard by: laughing my ass off at my classmate
