Guy: It was a good night! We saw the parade…we got drunk…I made out with a pregnant nun…

–Ben’s Pizza, Spring Street

Overheard by: A. Yanishevsky

Drunk girl: Hey, Red #2, where’s the rest of the pack?
Red crayon guy: Ooh, you’re a regular Dean Martin, aren’t you?

–Puck Fair, Lafayette Street

Guy on cell: Trick or treat, fucking witch!

–20th & Park

Overheard by: Pedro Lebron

Guy #1: I know it’s Halloween and this is the West Village, but do you faggots have to block the entire sidewalk?
Guy #2: Oh go sit on a cock.
Guy #1: Yeah, you’d like that.

–Christopher & Bedford

Overheard by: Adam Nathan

Chick on cell: Wait, wait, he put what where?…Uh huh…Well it was
Halloween last night…And then he did what? He ate it? That must have tasted like shit, literally!

–F train

Hipster girl: You know that guy Adam? That I….screwed? Well, he got arrested on Halloween for having a gun that looked like a gun.

–Mercer & Waverly