Middle-aged woman #1: Our waitress is so nice.
Middle-aged woman #2: A bit stern, though — very serious.
Middle-aged Jewish man: Must be from the Soviet Union.
–Diner, Queens
Middle-aged woman #1: Our waitress is so nice.
Middle-aged woman #2: A bit stern, though — very serious.
Middle-aged Jewish man: Must be from the Soviet Union.
–Diner, Queens
Girl: She’s a lesbian…
Guy: Lesbians love strap-ons.
Girl: I thought the point of being a lesbian is that you’re not into… that…
Guy: Well, there’s only so much you can do with two vaginas.
–Penn Station
Crunchy-haired woman: She used to make peanut butter and jelly with cheese… PB and J with American cheese.
Tattoo guy: Ew, that is so messed up.
Crunchy-haired woman: Yeah, but anyways, I really got into it with this lady at my support group today. She said somethin’ I didn’t like.
Tattoo guy: What happened this time?
Crunchy-haired woman: It was about the cherry issue… She was gettin’ on my case because I ate some fuckin’ cherries. I’m like, ‘What the fuck? What’s the big deal? I have a thing for cherries and so what that I can’t have just one, I have to have a whole bag?’ Fuck, I ate a fucking bag of cherries, big deal. So she was getting on me, saying I was one of those people who doesn’t try to get better…
–Brooklyn
Guy: Do you think it’s… bad… that I think I’m going out… with him?
Gal friends, unconvincingly: No, no…
–H&M, Chelsea
Ambitious girl: I think I’m going to sign up for a watercolor class.
Jaded guy friend: That’s the most emo thing I’ve ever heard from someone who used to work at the Gap.
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: EmLo
Girl in stall #1: I am sooo wasted.
Girl in stall #2: I am so disappointed.
Girl in stall #1: In the show? I know, but they are so tired from being on tour, and it’s the third night–
Girl in stall #2: –No, not that.
Girl in stall #1: Oh. Then why?
Girl in stall #2: Um…
Girl in stall #1: Because I’m drunk?
Girl in stall #2: Yeah.
Girl in stall #1: Oh.
–Bowery Ballroom
Overheard by: Foxy
Man: You keep two guns under your pillow?
Friend: One for the missus.
–St. Mark’s & 1st
Overheard by: Sofar
Girl: Ew, look… I hate midgets.
Guy: But what about primordial dwarfs? You love them.
Girl: That’s because they’re in proportion.
–49th & 3rd
Girl: … So if it’s green we’ll know.
Guy: I once shit green.
Girl: Me, too.
–E 7th St
Guy: Alright, bye, Corinne! Nice meeting you, Jess.
Jess: He was nice. How do you know him?
Corrine: … My hand smells like penis. Does your hand smell like penis?
–Outside Bleecker Street Bakery
Overheard by: mine didn’t
