Teen girl #1: I think Jack’s about to break up with me again…
Teen girl #2: What? Why?
Teen girl #1: Yesterday I went to his MySpace, and he moved me to the bottom of his Top Eight!
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: wallsears
Teen girl #1: I think Jack’s about to break up with me again…
Teen girl #2: What? Why?
Teen girl #1: Yesterday I went to his MySpace, and he moved me to the bottom of his Top Eight!
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: wallsears
Girl #1: So I hear you’re single again.
Girl #2: Yeah, it’s great. I can stop shaving my ass!
–Outside Starbucks, Times Square
Headline by: Marsha Mellow
Runners-Up:
· “Donkey Breathes Sigh of Relief” – Mike Curry
· “Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman Shorn” – Adrianne
· “It was the happiest day of Mother Teresa’s life.” – Dave
· “Oh, good, Oprah is back on the market!” – Anna
· “So easy, even a caveman can do it!” – waxes!
· “When she’s dating again she’ll cut it all off and donate it to cancer victims” – Peter B
· “You’re Not Gonna Stop Shaving Mine, Are You?” – Trey Jackson
Guy #1: Dude, I would never do heroin, that’s so whack.
Guy #2: What do you mean? It’s got, like, nine vitamins in it!
–E train, 34th St
Overheard by: Jatmos
The most flamingly queer man in history: I ain’t sittin’ down, I don’t wanna touch nothin’. This place is a cesspool.
Sexually ambiguous friend: Baby, you’ll take it bareback, bent over in a bar bathroom, but you won’t take a damn seat?
–C train
Chipper male hairstylist: Hi! Did you miss me?
Female hairstylist, intense: I thought about you every day…
Chipper male hairstylist: You know I’m gay, right?
–34th & Lex
Overheard by: Snidely
Angry black lady: I’m gonna 69 that motherfucker!
Friend: What?!
Angry black lady: I mean, 68 or 67 or… I dunno. Star 67! That way the bitch won’t know it’s me callin’.
–City Hall Park
Overheard by: This is what makes New York City so great
Girl #1: Go plant your seeds in another garden.
Girl #2: But I like him, he’s my tree.
Girl #3: That tree belongs to someone else — he’s already been peed on!
Girl #2: But I peed on him first!
–44th & Broadway
Dude #1: So, you want to hear about my trip to Miami?
Dude #2: Yeah, why not — just let me order a bottle of J.D. first, then it will get really interesting!
Dude #1: Yeah, fuck Miami, let’s get dead drunk and plan a murder.
Dude #2: Seriously, who do you have to fuck to get drunk around here?
–Double Seven Bar, 418 W 14th St
Girl: It was great — so smooth and quiet and roomy — there was tons of leg room!
Guy: Mhmmm…
Girl: Like, like, say these are my knees…
Guy: Those are your knees.
–Outside Penn Station
Chick: I bet he’s fuh-reaky in the sack.
Friend: Definitely.
Chick: No… Like fuh-reaky… Like, not like normal freaky, how everyone needs to get it once in a while, but, like, weird freaky — like pulling up your pants and finding the closest exit. Did I ever tell you about the ice cream?
Friend, laughing: No!
Chick: This one time he was like, ‘Let’s have some fun’ and decided to tie me up. And then to, like, build anticipation or whatever, he went and got a bowl of ice cream.
Friend: Shut up!
Chick: I’m serious… And then I guess my damn cat decided he wanted a snack, too!
Friend, hysterical: Shut up! I can’t breathe!
–LIRR pulling into Penn Station
