Girl #1: … And then he finger-fucked Isaac Asimov.
Girl #2: [Falls down laughing.]Guy: Yes, exactly.
–Columbia University
Girl #1: … And then he finger-fucked Isaac Asimov.
Girl #2: [Falls down laughing.]Guy: Yes, exactly.
–Columbia University
Windbreaker guy: So, we go to dinner, and she tells me I’m boring, that we never do anything different.
Tweed blazer guy: So, what are you going to do?
Windbreaker guy: Next time we have sex I’m going to pull out and ejaculate on her feet.
–79th & Broadway
Guy: I was bored the other day, so I sang the alphabet song while counting on my fingers to make sure there really are 26 letters… There are.
Girl: Dude, you know what you get for that? [Hugs guy.]
–E train
Overheard by: Peter G
Man: Oh my gosh, that’s so embarrassing. Am I wearing white underwear?
Woman: I didn’t know how to tell you.
Man: What, we can talk about cock sucking, but you can’t tell me I have a rip in my pants?
–Outside Prune restaurant, Lower East Side
Chick: Don’t eat that!
Guy: Why? What did you do to it?
Chick: Nothing! It’s just been all over the table!
Guy: [Silently eats it.]Chick: Oh my god. I’m never hooking up with you!
–Palladium Dining Hall, 14th & 4th
Overheard by: Emily
Girl: So, did he even tell her?
Guy: Of course not! What would he say? ‘Well, you see, Raya, this one time… I fucked a door’?
–Q train
Overheard by: shawn
Chick #1: So, who would you rather blow — your mom or your dad?
Chick #2: Well, my mom kinda looks like me, and I think that’s hot, when it’s two girls who kinda look like each other.
–Brooklyn-bound L train
Girl #1: Hey, remember that time you got laser hair removal for your lip?
Girl #2: Stacy! Stop talking, there are people around!
Girl #1: Oh, right, as though you will ever see any of these people again.
Random guy: Actually, I’m in her Computer Science class.
–6 train
Guy #1: I try to stay away from Italian women.
Guy #2: Why?
Guy #1: Because they are hairy.
–Broadway & 50th
Overheard by: Keithrez
Girl #1: So, I met a boy this weekend who isn’t an asshole drug dealer, for a change.
Girl #2: But he’s a drug dealer?
Girl #1: Who isn’t?
Girl #2: Um… me?
Girl #1: No. He’s not a drug dealer.
Girl #2: Oh! I thought you meant he’s a drug dealer, just not an asshole one.
–23rd St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Jackattack
