Girl: The Columbia Safe Van driver ran a red light and blindsided my cab yesterday!
Guy: I know it’s hard to provide students with a good definition of irony, but honestly.
–Broadway & 116th
Girl: The Columbia Safe Van driver ran a red light and blindsided my cab yesterday!
Guy: I know it’s hard to provide students with a good definition of irony, but honestly.
–Broadway & 116th
Guy #1: …so I heard that the more you think you know, the less you actually know.
Guy #2: Yeah, I think I read that somewhere.
–Broadway & Bond
Overheard by: Jenyc
Girl: Ew, look at that bug by the curb. That’s no regular roach.
Guy: Yeah, that’s not a New York roach, it’s like a Middle Earth roach.
–28th & 7th
Overheard by: Randolph Hernandez
Guy #1: Dude, I know this is kinda gay, but I played The Sims last night naked and it was awesome.
Guy #2: Oh, that’s solid. I watch TV naked all the time. Not recently, though. I’ve been studying for my econ midterm constantly, and you can’t be naked in the library.
Guy #1: That sucks, ’cause it’s like…being naked just always feels better.
Guy #2: Totally. Ceteris paribus, I say, “do it naked.”
–Columbia University
Guy #1: What time is it?
Guy #2: One o’clock.
Guy #1: What? How long has it been one?
Guy #2: Less than a minute?
–57th & Lexington
Mom: Hey! If you’re hungry I’ll buy you a hot dog. Don’t bite your brother…Hey! What did I just tell you?
She flicks his ear; he yelps.
Mom: Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.
–Stop & Shop, Union Turnpike
Overheard by: Chris B
A woman gets on the train and begs for money. She is upset that other people ask for money and spend it on the wrong things. She promises she is being sincere and that she isn’t going to spend it on drugs; she needs it to buy food for her 93 day old baby.
Four days later the same woman gets on the train, telling how she is being honest and needs the money to buy food. Only now she claims her baby is 76 days old.
Funny how she’s begging for money, when she should really just sell that time machine.
–Q train
Overheard by: Jill
Guy: Hey man, wanna make some quick money moving some equipment for me?
Hobo: I don’t have time right now.
–30th & 7th
Overheard by: theallegedother
Girl: Have some! Please!
Guy: Uh, no. I hate bananas.
Girl: Come on! This shit is bananas! B-a-n-a-n-a-s!
Guy: B-a-n-a-no.
–Chat ‘n’ Chew, East 16th Street
Girl #1: Ooh, if he was black he would have kicked your ass…
Girl #2: Yeah, if he was a nigga you’d be bleeding all over me.
–1 train
Overheard by: Dustin Ragland
Guy #1: I found my old Nintendo yesterday
Guy #2: Yo, remember Game Genie and shit?
Hobo: I had a genie once.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Creighton
Girl #1: Is there a movie version of Catcher in the Rye?
Girl #2: No, but a lot of films based on the concept.
Girl #3: I have always been so attracted to that character.
–M27 bus
