Girl: Why won’t that garbage truck move for the ambulance?
Guy #1: Is the garbage really that important? They’re still picking it up.
Guy #2: Pretty soon they’ll be able to dump the body in there.
–Park & 27th
Overheard by: Jimi D
Girl: Why won’t that garbage truck move for the ambulance?
Guy #1: Is the garbage really that important? They’re still picking it up.
Guy #2: Pretty soon they’ll be able to dump the body in there.
–Park & 27th
Overheard by: Jimi D
Girl: How did pigeons get in here?
Guy: They flew.
Girl: Do you think it can get on the bus?
–Port Authority
Overheard by: heather gross
Chick #1: I feel so fucked up. I don’t know why.
Chick #2: Maybe it’s because of the way you look!…Just kidding,
Margaret! Just kidding!
–Barnes & Noble ladies’ room, 22nd & 6th
Overheard by: Stephie Russell
Girl #1: Oh my god, he is so cute.
Girl #2: Yeah, I told you he was like, totally hot.
Girl #3: Yeah, he is. But he is so drunk, and such a walking STD!
Girl #2: I know. I’m drunk too, though.
–83rd & 2nd
Overheard by: Mr Gemini
White chick: That girl has so many STDs; she just has to!
–Sunset Park
Girl: The Columbia Safe Van driver ran a red light and blindsided my cab yesterday!
Guy: I know it’s hard to provide students with a good definition of irony, but honestly.
–Broadway & 116th
Guy #1: …so I heard that the more you think you know, the less you actually know.
Guy #2: Yeah, I think I read that somewhere.
–Broadway & Bond
Overheard by: Jenyc
Girl: Ew, look at that bug by the curb. That’s no regular roach.
Guy: Yeah, that’s not a New York roach, it’s like a Middle Earth roach.
–28th & 7th
Overheard by: Randolph Hernandez
Guy #1: Dude, I know this is kinda gay, but I played The Sims last night naked and it was awesome.
Guy #2: Oh, that’s solid. I watch TV naked all the time. Not recently, though. I’ve been studying for my econ midterm constantly, and you can’t be naked in the library.
Guy #1: That sucks, ’cause it’s like…being naked just always feels better.
Guy #2: Totally. Ceteris paribus, I say, “do it naked.”
–Columbia University
Guy #1: What time is it?
Guy #2: One o’clock.
Guy #1: What? How long has it been one?
Guy #2: Less than a minute?
–57th & Lexington
Mom: Hey! If you’re hungry I’ll buy you a hot dog. Don’t bite your brother…Hey! What did I just tell you?
She flicks his ear; he yelps.
Mom: Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.
–Stop & Shop, Union Turnpike
Overheard by: Chris B
A woman gets on the train and begs for money. She is upset that other people ask for money and spend it on the wrong things. She promises she is being sincere and that she isn’t going to spend it on drugs; she needs it to buy food for her 93 day old baby.
Four days later the same woman gets on the train, telling how she is being honest and needs the money to buy food. Only now she claims her baby is 76 days old.
Funny how she’s begging for money, when she should really just sell that time machine.
–Q train
Overheard by: Jill
Guy: Hey man, wanna make some quick money moving some equipment for me?
Hobo: I don’t have time right now.
–30th & 7th
Overheard by: theallegedother
Girl: Have some! Please!
Guy: Uh, no. I hate bananas.
Girl: Come on! This shit is bananas! B-a-n-a-n-a-s!
Guy: B-a-n-a-no.
–Chat ‘n’ Chew, East 16th Street
