Guy #1: Remember that time last week when I like fucking killed Frank?
Guy #2: Huh?
Guy #1: When I fucking killed Frank?
Guy #2: Who?
Guy #1: Frank.
Guy #2: Oh, ha, ha! Priceless.
–Columbia University
Guy #1: Remember that time last week when I like fucking killed Frank?
Guy #2: Huh?
Guy #1: When I fucking killed Frank?
Guy #2: Who?
Guy #1: Frank.
Guy #2: Oh, ha, ha! Priceless.
–Columbia University
Girl #1: So yeah, it was really cold out there, and he had to keep
building fires cause they had no heat.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Yeah, and also they had to keep this tea kettle on top of the
fireplace so it wouldn’t get dry.
Girl #2: What? Who lives like that?
Girl #1: What? They live in the country.
Girl #2: Yeah, but they had to like, chop wood. Who lives like that? I have heat.
Girl #1: Yeah, that’s ’cause you live on the Upper East Side.
–Columbia University
Girl #1: Don’t laugh while I tell you this! Channel Chris Parnell!
Girl #2: Ha, ha, ha!…I’m sorry, I have to pull a Jimmy Fallon.
–Banc Cafe, 30th & 3rd
Guy #1: I had sushi last week.
Guy #2: Isn’t that like raw fish?
Guy #1: Man, it’s so good you don’t even taste the raw fish.
Guy #2: Then you should just take the raw fish out.
–Hunter College East-West bridge
Girl: I had four vibrators.
Guy: You had four vibrators?
Girl: Yeah, and I was using the blue one to massage his neck.
–64th & 3rd
Overheard by: peter
Chick #1: Why do those stone people on the side of the courthouse look so happy? Family court isn’t happy.
Chick #2: Yeah, if that were a real family, one would be holding a shovel, and the other one holding a fork.
–Downtown Brooklyn
Girl #1: I can’t believe last year you had a boyfriend and this year you have a girlfriend! It’s like so nasty.
Girl #2: Oh please, next year you’re going to have a girlfriend too.
Girl #1: Hell no I ain’t. I made it through last year without a girlfriend and I’ll make it through this year too!
–6 train
Overheard by: Kimberly
Girl #1: You’re going off the pill? What about STDs and AIDS?
Girl #2: Yeah, and babies!
Girl #1: STDs and AIDS are worse than babies.
Girl #2: True.
–Madison & 26th
Overheard by: K8
Girl #1: …It’s so scary how time flies.
Girl #2: You know what’s even scarier than that?
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: AIDS.
–68th & Broadway
Overheard by: Anne O.
Guy: So…did you make any resolutions for the new year?
Girl: Ummm…I had one…but…I forgot it.
Guy: You forgot it? How do you expect to follow through on it if you already forgot it before the new year even starts?
Girl: I think it had something to do with me being neurotic.
–Bamiyan, East 26th Street
Overheard by: Nik G
Woman: They need to play more Rufus Wainwright. I only hear him on WFUV.
Man: Don’t you mean W-G-A-Y?
Woman: Oh, that was tactful.
–Spade’s Noodles, Rice & More, 3rd Avenue
