Little old Jewish lady #1: So that Moses — who was his mother? Why’d they put him in that basket, anyway?
Little old Jewish lady #2: I think it was because they were going to kill him… Something like that.
Little old Jewish lady #1: It’s so sad when loving families break up like that. They should’ve given him to a cousin.
–Chinese restaurant, 16th & 3rd
Overheard by: ysabet
Jewish kid: Are these hot dogs AIDS-free?
Hispanic vendor, defensive: No, ese, no!
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Lynne
Blonde: Do you have a first name?
Freakishly tall pale kid: Yes.
Blonde: Do you have a last name?
Freakishly tall pale kid: Yes.
Blonde: Do you have a middle name?
Freakishly tall pale kid: No.
Blonde: Well, I wanna annoy you. What’s your conformation name?
Freakishly tall pale kid: I’m Jewish.
Blonde: So?
–21st & 1st
Jewish guy, to young white couple: Excuse me, are you Jewish?
Hobo: Man, do they fucking look Jewish?! Leave them the fuck alone, and get the hell outta here!
–9th & 2nd
Overheard by: 54
Headline by: Michael DeLong
Runners-Up:
· “Go Circumcise Somebody Else!” – John
· “Jesus Returns to Do Some Street Work” – Sim Etrias
· “Let My People Go, Bitch!” – jenna
· “Moses Had Such A Temper” – Dion
· “Sorry, Didn’t Notice He Was Short One Foreskin.” – Sheathed
· “Where Can I Get a Hobo Bodyguard?” – Ashley
20-ish WASP in fur coat on cell: Don’t you have a bowl? [Sigh] Do you have a bottle of tonic or, like, an apple or a traffic cone? Well, I’m sure there is something in your apartment I can make a bong out of.
80-ish Jewish woman: That’s an inappropriate conversation if I ever heard one…
20-ish WASP in fur coat: Whatever, that was my boss.
–Elevator, 62nd & 2nd
Jewish guy: I have to study a lot today.
Spanish guy: Dude, you had the whole weekend to study!
Jewish guy: I had the funeral, and I got food poisoning!
Spanish guy: I can understand the funeral, because, well… But the food poisoning is all your fault — you ate pork and you’re Jewish!
–Starbucks
Overheard by: liz
Hasidic man offering out a lulav: Are you a Jew? Are you a Jew?
Girl, running away: Yes, but I don’t want to!
–W 4th & Broadway
Bearded, earlocked rabbi jumping out of mitzvah mobile: You, you’re Jewish — come in and hear what we have to say.
Shiksa: I’m not Jewish.
Bearded, earlocked rabbi: Yes you are, I can tell. Your mother is Jewish.
Shiksa: No one in my family is Jewish.
Bearded, earlocked rabbi: Maybe no one in your family practices, but Jewish blood is strong, and I can tell you have it.
Shiksa: Leave me alone or I’ll throw bacon at you.
–5th Ave
Jewish guy: Are you Jewish?
Hot blonde shiksa: No… But my hairdresser is!
–Brooklyn College campus
Overheard by: Mars
Jewish guy #1: See if you can buy that broken cookie for a good deal.
Jewish guy #1 and #2 at same time: Fifty cents, yeah!
Jewish guy #3: That’s why we run the world.
All three: Yeah!
–Starbucks, 60th & 1st Ave
Overheard by: jeremy
