Teen girl: Like, I thought he was Jewish but then he ate a gyro so I dumped him.
Teen boy: That’s rough. Did he have it with that white sauce?
Teen girl: What difference does that make? Shit, you’re dumb.
–F train
Overheard by: Steph Gold
Teen girl: Like, I thought he was Jewish but then he ate a gyro so I dumped him.
Teen boy: That’s rough. Did he have it with that white sauce?
Teen girl: What difference does that make? Shit, you’re dumb.
–F train
Overheard by: Steph Gold
Player: Girl, your nose is like a Seinfeld episode.
–The Gate, Park Slope
A hobo sits with a HUNGRY JEW sign and begs: Lox, bagels, cream cheese? Lox, bagels, cream cheese?
–Broadway & 80th
Producer: Is Purim the holiday where they dress up? There was this little girl with an eyepatch and I was like, “Arr, you’re a pirate?” and her mom was like, “Actually, she had her eye put out.”
–27th street office
JAP on cell: I give up. I have been posting personal ads looking for “tall, dark and handsome” and all I ever end up with is “short, hairy, Jewish”. I guess I should just accept my fate.
–Starbucks, 48th & 3rd
Black guy: I ain’t Jewish, so I don’t be doin’ no Yom Kippur.
–D train
Overheard by: Nash Astor
Girl: Is that soup place the Soup Nazi? Did he go out of business?
Guy: Yeah, ever since Soup V.E. Day…
–55th & 8th
Overheard by: Lindsay Robertson
Crazy Hasid: Who are the three greatest Jewish lawyers of all time? Roy Cohen, Roy Cohen, Roy Cohen, Johnny Cochran, Alan Dershowitz. Who are the three greatest doctors of all time? Dr. Dolittle, Dr. Dolittle, Dr. Dolittle, Alan Dershowitz.
–F train
Overheard by: bluesdog
Jewess on cell: You know, I love Great Neck, but I don’t know. I have to consider it. I’m not super Jewish and he’s not super Jewish. And you know how Jews are. They can be nice to non-Jews, but they can be caustic to other Jews.
–Union Square
Lady: I just don’t get smoking, or people who smoke…smoking and bacon; I don’t get it.
–UWS elevator
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Jewish guy: You know, all the famous people are Jewish, like Einstein, and–
Black guy: Man, shut the fuck up, what the fuck is wrong with you? Ain’t you ever heard of Martin Luther King, Jr.? He ain’t Jewish; hell, that motherfucker ain’t even white. Jesus Fucking Christ!
Jewish guy: Very good! Jesus Christ!
–E train
Overheard by: Ting
Columbia guy #1: It’s a small world.
Columbia guy #2: Yeah, especially when they killed six million of us.
–Miller Theatre, Columbia University
Lady: …yeah, but when they’re all being led into gas chambers again, they’ll be crying in their beer.
–Miller Park, The Bronx
Overheard by: Roisin Ni She
Book guy: I don’t see that big swastika.
Girl: No, I don’t either. And that big swastika was going to be my dad’s birthday present.
–Barnes & Noble, Astor Place
Overheard by: Jon Zebraskey
JAP: Didn’t it fall down back in the early nineties too?
–Ground Zero
Intellectual: Dude, after September 11th, we had to go kill somebody. Someone had to die.
–Midtown office
Overheard by: Aryeh Jasper
13-year-old boy #1: Don't you remember that you told me my Bar Mitzvah was terrible?
13-year-old boy #2: When did I say that? I did not say nothing.
13-year-old boy #1: Don't you remember? You were talking to Eileen and you said I made a lot of mistakes. Don't blame me.
13-year-old boy #2: Don't blame you? You're blaming me! This is why we can't get together. Now we can't eat dinner together. We need conflict resolution.
–Barnes & Noble, 86th & Lexington
Drunk girl, to owner of pizza place: Hasta mañana!
Drunk guy: That’s not Italian!
Drunk girl: He’s not Italian, he’s Greek! He speaks Yiddish and Greek!
–30th & 3rd
