Hasidic Jew handing out flyer: You! You! Are you Jewish?
Blonde shiksa #1: Oh my god! He totally thinks you’re Jewish!
Blonde shiksa #2: Ewww! I cannot believe he thinks I look like some fucking Jew!
Blonde not‐so‐shiksa: Wait a minute, bitch — I’m Jewish.
Blonde shiksa #2: Oh, sorry. It’s not your fault.

–32nd & 5th

Gentile #1: I’m thinking he looks more like a rabbi. Can’t you just picture the yarmulke on his head?
Gentile #2: Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, I made you out of wood.
Gentile #1: Clay!
Gentile #2: Clay? Oh, it is clay… see, that’s what makes me not Jewish.
Gentile #1: Believe it or not, in Catholic school during Hanukkah they had us play dreidel games and eat latkes and stuff.
Gentile #2: That’s very weird.
Gentile #1: Hey, it was better than reading the Bible.
Gentile #2: Touché.

–New School for Social Research

Tourist: Oh my god! That’s Maggie Gyllenhaal. She’s like, actually walking down the street!

–Magnolia Bakery

Overheard by: Jessica Blackshear

JAP: Do not mention that freaking African queen and her recycled husband!

–The Prime Grill, 49th Street

Twentysomething woman on cell: I’m gonna be late because I had to walk Drew Barrymore’s dog.

–in front of American Apparel, 7th Ave

Older Jewish woman: And where are you from?
30‐something woman: Arkansas.
Older Jewish woman: And are you Jewish?
30‐something woman: No.
Older Jewish woman: You just confirmed my stereotype.
30‐something woman: And you just confirmed mine.

–Temple Shaaray Tefila

Jewish chick #1: You know, it’s kind of awkward to register for sheets for a wedding.
Jewish chick #2: Really? Why?
Jewish chick #1: Because, it’s like, they know what you’re doing!

–84th St & Central Park West

Woman #1: …she’s also a lesbian.
Woman #2: Really?
Woman #1: Yeah. She’s a black Jewish lesbian mother.
Woman #2: …What do the kids look like?

–Central Park reservoir track

Guy #1: Your car is totally Jewish.
Guy #2: My car is not Jewish. My car is a Jew hater.

–10th & Hudson

Queer: You are all a bunch of crackers…What are you laughing at, Jew? We have a cracker and a Jew, it’s like a Lunchable.

–1 train

Asian yuppie: Plus, I wanna know when I’m going to get my share of those statues!
Jewish hipster: Just because you look like the Qin emperor doesn’t mean you deserve to get his stuff.
Asian yuppie: Well, if not me, then who?

–1 Train

Anorexic JAP on cell: …No money, so I stopped dating him.
Hobo: Whore.
Anorexic JAP, to hobo: Excuse me?
Hobo: Nice thighs — have another doughnut.

–East Village