Black guy to Jewish guy: Hey man, you look pretty Jewish.
Jewish guy: Yeah, I know. You look pretty black.
–St. Mark's Place
Black guy to Jewish guy: Hey man, you look pretty Jewish.
Jewish guy: Yeah, I know. You look pretty black.
–St. Mark's Place
Crazy hobo: Taco Bell is outta meat. Taco Bell… Is outta meat. I ask for a taco, they say, "We outta meat." What the fuck!? How you run outta meat at Taco Bell? You don't see me runnin' outta weed! Shit. Taco Bell is outta meat.
–Wendy's, 14th Street
Overheard by: Zack
Curious teenage girl: What is that on the floor? Ew! I hate when people leave bags of meat on the subway!
–R Train
Jewish lawyer, answering his desk phone: Weinstein's house of kosher pork. How may I direct your call?
–Newsroom, Midtown
Preppy teen: I am like, a total whore for salami.
–280th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: casayoto
Woman on cell talking about her upcoming weekend: Mah husband's gone, my kids is gone, I'm jus' goin' lie on the floor and eat some baloney. Mmm hmm. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Das' right. I'm gonna eat some baloney, and some cheese?-I'm goin' make myself a baloney sandwich.
–4th St Station
Overheard by: Jess
Small child in yarmulke: Mom, why are the bears in armor fighting?
Mother in stockings and wig: I don’t know why, but that’s not very nice. Jews don’t do this, we solve our problems by talking.
–AMC Theatre
Overheard by: bryan
(in line outside a bar)
Scantily clad chick #1: Ugh, I’m such a chubby Jew!
Scantily clad chick #2: No you’re not, you’re like, so pretty, and you don’t even wear makeup. I’m a chubby Jew!
–Rivington b/w Essex & Norfolk
Overheard by: Harrison
Girl on cell: You ate breakfast? You animal!
–2 Train Platform, Wall Street
Overheard by: Gin in Tonic
Angry guy on cell: She’s a chef! Of course she makes bad decisions… like deciding to be a chef!
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: Withnail
Buddy Holly glasses guy: Oh, I want food so much more than I want women right now.
–First Saturday, Brooklyn Museum
Suit: I’m going to order some mashed potatoes, with a side order of pussy.
–In front of Macy’s, Herald Square
Overheard by: sometimesdee
Middle-aged jewish lady to other: So she asks me if she can come over for supper and I said I don’t know how to work the stove!
–Avenue J & E 12th Street, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Robert
Surprised teen: She fondled my pancakes. She’s a pancake fondler!
–34th St
Overheard by: Chloe
Jewish girl: I think my family likes me because I will fulfill my potential to be a pompous ass.
–NYU Bobst Library
Thirty-something Hispanic woman: All my nephews are boys… All of them.
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Suze V
Girl on cell: Well then maybe you shouldn’t have fucked my sister!
–70 & Broadway
Girl on cell: …The half-Asian, half-Jewish guy. And she’s like: "My brother is so pissed at me!" and I’m like: "Of course he’s pissed, you’ve gotten with six of his friends."
–St. John’s University
Overheard by: Peter G
Guy: I’ve seen my sister-in law’s titties so many times…
–Yankee Stadium
Girl on cell: So the little girl at the wedding was like: "Are you guys brothers?" And I was like: "No, we fuck".
–24th St b/w 6th & 7th
Overheard by: Amy
Girl, as she passes out cards: Jesus loves you!
Passerby: Actually, Jesus and I haven’t really gotten along since my people killed him. But thanks!
–43rd & Broadway
Running jaywalker: The worst car to get hit by is a Mini Cooper!
–University & 10th St
Overheard by: Knows trucks that beg to differ
Old man crossing the street, on cell: I’m crossing the fucking street!
–42nd & Broadway
Guy wearing yarmulke, to friend: Hey, watch out! Just because you’re Jewish doesn’t mean cars won’t run you over.
–Columbus Circle
Tourist suit to other suit: New Yorkers are so rude. Just wait till you see how they all cross the street at red lights!
–Metro North Train to Grand Central
Overheard by: Courtney Messer
Cop on loudspeaker, to Asian bimbo tourist trying to walk down the middle of Canal St: Sidewalks are open to the public. Please use them.
–Canal Street
Overheard by: F Tourists
[Two cops are waiting at the light. A woman jaywalks and almost gets hit by a car.]
Male cop: Phew! That would have been a lot of paper work.
–44th & Broadway
Overheard by: Aimee
Straight Jewish boy: Oh, man, with going now to see the Assassination of Jesse James by the coward Robert Ford, plus I saw 3:10 to Yuma last week, I’m going to have seen two westerns in the past two weeks. I feel so manly.
Hipster girl: Don’t worry, we can go get you a throw pillow later.
–Outside the Angelika
Hipster guy: I mean, she’s a Jewish. She’s not, like, a bad person, I think.
–44th & 9th
Overheard by: …right.
Dude: He’s that kind of super-serious Jew that doesn’t touch women. I think they call it ‘Hava Nagila.’
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Middle school girl trying to catch snowflakes in her mouth: These snowflakes are so antisemitic! They won’t go in my mouth!
–110th & Amsterdam
Blonde on cell: I just don’t see us working out. All my friends hate you, my mom hates you, and even my dog hates you… My mom hates you because you’re not Jewish… Yes, I’m aware I’m Catholic… Because Jews are financially secure!
–Starbucks, Upper West Side
Frustrated Jewish guy: I mean, look at these people and their Red Sox yarmulkes! What is this world coming to?!
–Judaism Debate, Cooper Union
Shiksa seeing menorah-shaped chocolates: Oooh, combs!
–Party, W 72nd & Broadway
