Little girl: You know who has a weird name?
Mom: You mean an unusual name?
Little girl: Yes. The librarian. Her name is Constance.
Mom: Oh, that’s an old name, like yours: Sadie.
Little girl: But they’re bringing it back. I hear a lot of people in the park say, “Come, Sadie!” Especially to golden retrievers. That’s why I’m begging you to get me a dog.
–D train
Father: It’s a little boy just like you, except you’re a little girl.
–2nd & 2nd
Overheard by: Broc Morten
Little girl: I’m tired of thinking about ponies! Now it’s time to kill!
–Park Slope
Toddler boy: Wah! I want Mommy!
Babysitter chick: I want you to shut the fuck up.
–L train
Overheard by: RAZE ONE
Little girl: Mommy, I feel very shaky.
Mommy: Well, I don’t think you had enough protein today. That’s why I tried to get you to eat the eggs instead of just the bacon.
Little girl: But I’m thirsty.
–1 train
Little boy: Hey, ma! Look how much of this banana I can stick in my mouth!
–Broadway & Canal
Overheard by: A-Rod
Little girl: Mommy, I’m getting wet! I don’t want to get wet!
Mommy: Yeah? Well, I’m getting wet too, Samantha! That’s life!
–116th & Lexington
Overheard by: JMP
Girl on cell: Oh my god, I’m the embodiment of crack right now. I’m still drunk from last night. And wow, I just got a bad look from two Mexicans and we know that never happens. Oh my god, another bad Mexican look. What the fuck is happening? Oh my god, a cat…Shut up, oh my god, the world is conspiring against me. As soon as I said “cat” a kid came around the corner. What’s next, a demon? Cats, kids, demons.
–12th & A
Girl: When we were younger, we totally took for granted the fun in playing Spin the Bottle…I would love to play now but it wouldn’t be the same.
Man: Yeah, playing now would just end with an abortion two months later.
Girl: Ugh.
–Broadway & 46th
Overheard by: Jeff Rigby
Father: You wanna go pee-pee here?
Son: No!
Father: C’mon, I’ll hold you up, you can go in the trash can.
Son: No! I don’t wanna, they can see!
Father: Who? Oh, don’t worry, it’s not Sunday.
–84th & Park
Overheard by: Gabriel Lombardi
