Toddler boy: Mommy, how come those water towers don’t take off?
Mommy: What?
Toddler boy: How come those water towers don’t take off?
Mommy: You mean, water towers like on those buildings?
Toddler boy: Yeah.
Mommy: And take off, you mean like rockets?
Toddler boy: Yeah.
Mommy: What have you been reading?
–F train
Overheard by: Eric W
Dude #1: Hey, look at that guy.
Dude #2: What guy?
Dude #1: That guy, he just moved behind the thing. Is he staring at those kids?
Dude #3: Maybe he’s a kid aficionado.
–Downtown Brooklyn
Overheard by: brendon
Little boy: I ate a nail once.
Mom: I remember that. I think it came out in your diaper.
–41st & 9th
Overheard by: Cait O’Connor
Dad: Okay, pose for a picture honey! Hold your drink up!…Okay honey, look at the camera.
Little girl: But the sun is in my eyes.
Dad: Just look at the camera and I’ll take your picture…Look into the camera, honey!
Little girl: The sun hurts my eyes!
Dad: Just look into the camera really quick and I’ll take the picture.
She does, with great discomfort. He takes a picture after about 15 seconds.
Dad: That was awful.
–Park Slope
Girl: I’ve seen pictures of you as a child. You didn’t look Jewish. Hitler would have loved you. Well, until he saw your penis.
Guy: Wow…uh…wow.
–78th & Columbus
Woman: People pickin’ on you in school? Where are your friends? Who you roll with?
Little boy: I’m in the second grade!
–135th & 5th
Little girl: You know who has a weird name?
Mom: You mean an unusual name?
Little girl: Yes. The librarian. Her name is Constance.
Mom: Oh, that’s an old name, like yours: Sadie.
Little girl: But they’re bringing it back. I hear a lot of people in the park say, “Come, Sadie!” Especially to golden retrievers. That’s why I’m begging you to get me a dog.
–D train
Father: It’s a little boy just like you, except you’re a little girl.
–2nd & 2nd
Overheard by: Broc Morten
Little girl: I’m tired of thinking about ponies! Now it’s time to kill!
–Park Slope
Toddler boy: Wah! I want Mommy!
Babysitter chick: I want you to shut the fuck up.
–L train
Overheard by: RAZE ONE
