Chick #1: I really think this is the way to go.
Chick #2: I told you, I’m not ready. They don’t even know me. I don’t want them to always think of me as “that lesbian girl.” I said no.
Chick #1: I meant Eighth Avenue.
–23rd & 8th
Overheard by: Mchelly
Guy #1: Nigga, where you goin’?
Guy #2: To the middle of the train. I wanna be in the middle.
Guy #1: But we’re standing in the middle motherfucka.
Guy #2: No, the middle is at the end.
–23rd Street F/V station
Overheard by: Halli Civelek
Suit: Hi, what’s your vegetable special today?
Waitress: Ehm, let me check…Macaroni and cheese.
Suit: No, your vegetable.
Waitress: …Macaroni and cheese.
–Applebees, West 42nd Street
Overheard by: Hot Child in the City
Guy #1: Did you give anything to your boyfriend for Valentine’s Day?
Guy #2: No…I didn’t. I date girls.
Guy #1: Oh. Really?
Guy #2: Yeah. Why would you think that I go for guys?
Guy #1: I just always thought…
Guy #2: Really? Why?
Guy #1: Well you’re bald.
Guy #2: But you’re bald too.
Guy #1: Yeah. Exactly.
–Elevator, Rockefeller Plaza
Overheard by: Shacks
Queer: You know who I feel really bad for? Really ugly people.
–Mug’z Sports Bar, Belmont
Teen girl: Now what she needs is a razor dildo.
–93rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Alissa R.
Guy #1: I wake up at a quarter to 5 every day.
Guy #2: Why?
Guy #1: I get up to pee.
Guy #2: Every day?
Guy #1: It’s that, or I go in bed.
–Liberty & Broadway
Guy: Yeah, can I get a poppy seed bagel to go?
Counter guy: You want anything on that?
Guy: Uh…poppy seeds.
–Deli, 22nd & 6th
Overheard by: Kristen
Old woman: You still don’t have any Halloween candy, huh?
Old man: Valentine’s Day. It’s Valentine’s Day candy! Why do you keep calling it Halloween?
–Duane Reade, 62nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Charlie Davidson
Woman: Last month I thought I was in love with you. Now I realize I’m stupid.
Man: Stupid in love?
Woman: No. Just stupid.
–Union Square
