Guy #1: What do you think of when you hear the word “bathhouse”?
Guy #2: “Happy ending”.
Guy #1: I think “Thursdays”.
–45th & 5th
Guy #1: What do you think of when you hear the word “bathhouse”?
Guy #2: “Happy ending”.
Guy #1: I think “Thursdays”.
–45th & 5th
Chick: Do you know why I can’t walk on this side of you on the sidewalk?
Guy: Why?
Chick: You’re gonna laugh…
Guy: I’ll laugh no matter what.
Chick: ‘Cause this is not my side of the bed.
Guy: What?
Chick: If we were laying on my bed I wouldn’t be on my side.
Guy: What? Yes you would. If we’re laying on our backs this would be your side of the bed.
Chick: But I sleep on my stomach…
Guy: We’re walking in the street, there is no bed!
–42nd & 5th
Overheard by: King Porky21
Drunk girl #1: I met a guy last night!
Drunk girl #2: Oh yeah? Do tell.
Drunk girl #1: Well, um, it’s not exactly accurate to say that he had a Jay Leno caricature face.
–18th & 8th
Overheard by: Jas
Chick #1: I really think this is the way to go.
Chick #2: I told you, I’m not ready. They don’t even know me. I don’t want them to always think of me as “that lesbian girl.” I said no.
Chick #1: I meant Eighth Avenue.
–23rd & 8th
Overheard by: Mchelly
Guy #1: Nigga, where you goin’?
Guy #2: To the middle of the train. I wanna be in the middle.
Guy #1: But we’re standing in the middle motherfucka.
Guy #2: No, the middle is at the end.
–23rd Street F/V station
Overheard by: Halli Civelek
Suit: Hi, what’s your vegetable special today?
Waitress: Ehm, let me check…Macaroni and cheese.
Suit: No, your vegetable.
Waitress: …Macaroni and cheese.
–Applebees, West 42nd Street
Overheard by: Hot Child in the City
Guy #1: Did you give anything to your boyfriend for Valentine’s Day?
Guy #2: No…I didn’t. I date girls.
Guy #1: Oh. Really?
Guy #2: Yeah. Why would you think that I go for guys?
Guy #1: I just always thought…
Guy #2: Really? Why?
Guy #1: Well you’re bald.
Guy #2: But you’re bald too.
Guy #1: Yeah. Exactly.
–Elevator, Rockefeller Plaza
Overheard by: Shacks
Queer: You know who I feel really bad for? Really ugly people.
–Mug’z Sports Bar, Belmont
Teen girl: Now what she needs is a razor dildo.
–93rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Alissa R.
Guy #1: I wake up at a quarter to 5 every day.
Guy #2: Why?
Guy #1: I get up to pee.
Guy #2: Every day?
Guy #1: It’s that, or I go in bed.
–Liberty & Broadway
