Southern man: Well hon, maybe you should buy both; keep the large one and find someone to give the small one to.
Southern woman: Hmm, who do I know that needs a Statue of Liberty?
–Broadway & Canal
Southern man: Well hon, maybe you should buy both; keep the large one and find someone to give the small one to.
Southern woman: Hmm, who do I know that needs a Statue of Liberty?
–Broadway & Canal
Mom: So why didn’t you come to dinner?
Dad: I don’t like you.
–44th & 9th
Overheard by: puppy
Guy: Motherfucker of God!
Chick: That would be Joseph.
–60th & Broadway
Overheard by: James Wolf
Woman: I see you will be engaged by the end of the year!
Businessman lady: Great!
Woman: So can I give you a full reading?
Businessman lady: No thanks, I got a fortune cookie in my lunch.
–28th & Park
Teen girl: I would like to. Notwithstanding, I–
Old lady: Never say “notwithstanding” in New York. Too long a word for here.
Teen girl: Why the heck…?
Old lady: Notwithstanding and two financial empires have already
collapsed! Where are you from, by the way?
Teen girl: Missoula, Montana.
Old lady: You’re making my point, darling!…So, Redford says “notwithstanding”? No kidding?
Teen girl: Robert lives in Utah.
–Trump Tower elevator, 56th & 5th
Overheard by: Bertrand Latour
Tween girl #1: Aren’t you gonna wash your hands?
Tween girl #2: I don’t need to. I flush with my foot
Tween girl #1: Do you also wipe with your foot?
–Union Square Regal Cinemas ladies’ room
Chick: Wait, people are still inside.
Professor lady: I should do a head count. 2, 4, 6…Wait, I don’t know how many people we started with.
–22nd & 11th
Guy #1: What do you think of when you hear the word “bathhouse”?
Guy #2: “Happy ending”.
Guy #1: I think “Thursdays”.
–45th & 5th
Chick: Do you know why I can’t walk on this side of you on the sidewalk?
Guy: Why?
Chick: You’re gonna laugh…
Guy: I’ll laugh no matter what.
Chick: ‘Cause this is not my side of the bed.
Guy: What?
Chick: If we were laying on my bed I wouldn’t be on my side.
Guy: What? Yes you would. If we’re laying on our backs this would be your side of the bed.
Chick: But I sleep on my stomach…
Guy: We’re walking in the street, there is no bed!
–42nd & 5th
Overheard by: King Porky21
Drunk girl #1: I met a guy last night!
Drunk girl #2: Oh yeah? Do tell.
Drunk girl #1: Well, um, it’s not exactly accurate to say that he had a Jay Leno caricature face.
–18th & 8th
Overheard by: Jas
