Eight-year-old black boy: Skeet, skeet, skeet all over the wall. Skeet, skeet, skeet all over the wall.
Mom: I told you to stop that!
Eight-year-old black boy, three minutes later: Skeet, skeet, skeet all over the wall. Skeet, skeet, skeet all over the wall.
–Restroom, Penn Station
Overheard by: Amanda
Teen tourist #1: Let’s go, strangers!
Teen tourist #2: Isn’t that, ‘Let’s go, Rangers’?
Teen tourist #1: Oh, I never got that.
–Penn Station
Bag lady: 54, 55, 56, 57, 58…
Hipster boy running by: 64, 23, 17, 81!
Bag lady: No! Stop it! Stop it! This always happens to me!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Suburban Liz
Cop #1: What, you can’t say, ‘Good morning’ anymore?
Cop #2: Haha.
Cop #1: I get more fuckin’ respect from the sperm in my balls than from you!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Emily
Queer checking voice mail: Apparently my great aunt just died.
Friend: Oh, I’m so sorry.
Queer: Don’t be. She was a horrid, raging bitch.
Friend: Oh, well… then… ding dong!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Jas
St. Patty’s drunk: So, wait… I was told that we aren’t allowed to drink in Penn Station today, but all the vendors are selling beer. What’s the deal?
Cop: Well, they shouldn’t be selling it. If you are caught, you will be ticketed and–
Interrupting cop: –Dude, just put it in a paper cup! Go right there, buy that beer, and ask for that red paper Coke cup. That’s all.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Super Mike
Jersey tween #1: Who needs six dogs?
Jersey tween #2: Seriously… Who the fuck needs six dogs?
Jersey tween #3: Me?
–NJ Transit leaving Penn Station
Stoner guy: And when I play improvisational tuba, man, it’s like my soul comes alive.
Stoner girl: Dude, that’s such a good idea.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Chelsea
Man: Do you know what station this is going to?
Passenger #1: Crazy town!
Passenger #2: [Nods.]Man: [Backs away slowly.]
–Port Washington train, Penn Station
Overheard by: Matt
Tourist: Excuse me, where’s the nearest exit?
Janitor: Uh, which exit?
Tourist: Any exit to get out of here.
Janitor: Anywhere.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Jordan
