Guy #1: …he always wears the cheapest clothes but always has the most expensive sneakers!
Guy #2: Yo, white people bug me. They always wear crappy clothes, they be wearing green shirts, brown shirts…
Girl: But they always have nice cars, houses, they go on nice vacations. I’d rather wear cheap clothes and have a nice house and go on nice vacations.
Guy #1: You’re missing the point!
–N train
Overheard by: tanechka
Tourist girl #1: Stop acting like a tourist!
Tourist girl #2: But I am a tourist!
Tourist girl #1: But it’s embarrassing.
Tourist girl #2: If you’re embarrassed over what a ton of people you’ve never seen before and never will see again think, you’re never going to have any fun. Tourists are allowed to act like dorks.
Tourist girl #1: Then why do you make fun of tourists in Boston?
–Doubletree Metropolitan Hotel, Lexington Avenue
Hag: I can’t imagine dropping off my brother at the airport all like, “I’m okay with never seeing you again ’cause you might die in battle.”
Queer: Well, at least he gets a whore.
Hag: What?
Queer: ‘Cause you know they get whores in wars.
Hag: What are you talking about?
Queer: Hello? World War II?
–Olive Garden, Times Square
Dude #1: What’d that guy want?
Dude #2: White guy wanted to know where the Kangol hat store was.
Dude #1: Him?
Dude #2: Yeah, must be from Jersey.
–Times Square
Overheard by: chris b.
Chick: I’ve already slept with 6 professors and it’s only two weeks
into the semester.
Guy: Tell me about it. I slept with this one prof last night…he really taught me a thing or two.
–4th & Mercer
Overheard by: Timothy Leary
Mother: I’m pretty thirsty, honey. Are you thirsty?
Little girl: I’m not thirsty. I’m thirsty for toys!
–Museum of Natural History
Mark Riley: We only got two rubbers? What’s up?
The Overheard staff was on Air America Radio to tape an interview. A cell phone goes off. Our publisher checks his. Our editor checks his. The producer and the sound guy look at theirs.
Mark Riley: Maybe it’s mine. Oh shit, it’s my wife!
He picks up.
Mark Riley on cell: …We’re filming I Love Lucy. What’s the problem?
–Air America studios, 20th & 6th
Overheard by: Thanks for having us!
Guy #1: I met this girl, she was perfect.
Guy #2: Whaddya mean?
Guy #1: She was like a mannequin.
Guy #2: Interesting concept…
–77th & Lexington
Overheard by: Jules Cattie
Guy #1: So this Jack guy is basically the luckiest man in the world.
Guy #2: Why, because he’s survived like 5 attempts on his life and it’s not even noon?
Guy #1: No; he could totally nail those two chicks.
–6 train
Dad: Could you tell me where the auditorium is?
Security guy: It’s on the second floor.
Dad: Wait, you mean it’s actually in the building?
–Hunter College High School, 94th & Park
