Mark Riley: We only got two rubbers? What’s up?
The Overheard staff was on Air America Radio to tape an interview. A cell phone goes off. Our publisher checks his. Our editor checks his. The producer and the sound guy look at theirs.
Mark Riley: Maybe it’s mine. Oh shit, it’s my wife!
He picks up.
Mark Riley on cell: …We’re filming I Love Lucy. What’s the problem?
–Air America studios, 20th & 6th
Overheard by: Thanks for having us!
Guy #1: I met this girl, she was perfect.
Guy #2: Whaddya mean?
Guy #1: She was like a mannequin.
Guy #2: Interesting concept…
–77th & Lexington
Overheard by: Jules Cattie
Guy #1: So this Jack guy is basically the luckiest man in the world.
Guy #2: Why, because he’s survived like 5 attempts on his life and it’s not even noon?
Guy #1: No; he could totally nail those two chicks.
–6 train
Dad: Could you tell me where the auditorium is?
Security guy: It’s on the second floor.
Dad: Wait, you mean it’s actually in the building?
–Hunter College High School, 94th & Park
Girl: But, I mean, it’s not like I ever plan on giving birth.
Guy: Well, if your mother gave birth, it’s like your chances are good that you’ll give birth too.
Girl: …Uh, dude, your mother gave birth.
Guy: Absolutely.
–Park Slope
Guy #1: I don’t mind getting old; I love getting old.
Guy #2: Yeah, just as long as you don’t get pregnant.
–Grove & Bleecker
Chick: Are you saying you would have anal sex with my lifeless body?
Guy: No. No, I’m not. I’m insinuating it.
–111th & Broadway
Overheard by: djlindee
Hobo: Excuse me, this is a picture of my daughter Sofiya, she was in a fire recently and now she is brain damage can you spare some change so that we can give her a proper funeral? Anything will help, even a penny.
Man: Wait a minute! Is this the same daughter that was in a fire last summer? You mean to tell me you haven’t buried her yet?
–4 train
Overheard by: Leslie DJ
Guy: How old are you?
Hipster girl: You know, I never answer that question. Because to me, it’s about how mature you are, you know? I mean, a fourteen year old could be more mature than a twenty-five year old, right? I’m sorry, I just never answer that question.
Guy: But, uh, you’re older than eighteen, right?
Hipster girl: Oh, yeah.
–Knitting Factory, Leonard Street
Overheard by: Sarah Doogs
Queer #1: What should I get? I’ll have a falafel. Ha, ha!
Queer #2: I’ll have one of these lamb slices.
Pizza guy: Eggplant.
Queer #2: No, one of these.
Pizza guy: That’s eggplant.
Queer #2: Oh…Well, it looked like lamb.
Queer #1: I’m gonna throw caution to the wind and get a cheese slice.
Queer #3: That’s not lamb. Maybe you should ask for a duck confit slice.
–Sal’s, 7th & A
Overheard by: Domi
Man: Is this kosher?
Vendor guy: Um…there’s kosher salt in the bacon.
–Union Square
