Guy: How old are you?
Hipster girl: You know, I never answer that question. Because to me, it’s about how mature you are, you know? I mean, a fourteen year old could be more mature than a twenty-five year old, right? I’m sorry, I just never answer that question.
Guy: But, uh, you’re older than eighteen, right?
Hipster girl: Oh, yeah.
–Knitting Factory, Leonard Street
Overheard by: Sarah Doogs
Queer #1: What should I get? I’ll have a falafel. Ha, ha!
Queer #2: I’ll have one of these lamb slices.
Pizza guy: Eggplant.
Queer #2: No, one of these.
Pizza guy: That’s eggplant.
Queer #2: Oh…Well, it looked like lamb.
Queer #1: I’m gonna throw caution to the wind and get a cheese slice.
Queer #3: That’s not lamb. Maybe you should ask for a duck confit slice.
–Sal’s, 7th & A
Overheard by: Domi
Man: Is this kosher?
Vendor guy: Um…there’s kosher salt in the bacon.
–Union Square
Man #1: Yo! You just picked your nose! You’re not gonna wash your hands first?
Man #2: Why? It’s not like I picked your nose.
–24 Prince, Prince Street
Overheard by: Steve D
Girl: Why do I have to die, why can’t you die?
Guy: No.
Girl: Well…that’s not fair.
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Overheard by: Joe
Old man: You are the most beautiful woman in the world.
Girl: Aw, thanks!
Guy: She has crabs!
–Times Square 1/2/3 station
Overheard by: Meaghan Stefaniak
Guy #1: What can I say? I’m a sucker for orphan stories.
Guy #2: Or something.
Guy #1: Think about it: I loved Lemony Snicket, Party of Five, Diff’rent Strokes, Star Wars.
Guy #2: Yeah. Wait. Luke wasn’t an orphan.
Guy #1: Well, he sort of was, spiritually.
–34th between 7th & 8th
Overheard by: cityhick
Asian girl: I really like sleep sex.
White girl #1: What’s that?
Asian girl: You know, when you’re sleeping and you wake up and you’re having sex. Sleep sex.
White girl #2: You mean getting raped?
–1st Avenue & 9th Street
Little boy: Dad, will you remember me tomorrow?
Dad: Of course.
Little boy: Will you remember me next week?
Dad: Yes.
Little boy: Next month?
Dad: Yup.
Little boy: Next year? Two years? Three years?
Dad. Yes, yes and yes.
Little boy: …Knock, knock.
Dad: Who’s there?
Little boy: Aw, man! You forgot me already!
–1 train
Overheard by: Kathleen
Queer #1: That used to be a fun place. Remember that backroom? That was a fun backroom!
Queer #2: Are you nuts? It was a nasty firetrap full of gropey old trolls, people came on me without my permission, and I had my wallet stolen!
Queer #1: True.
–20th & 6th
