Teen boy #1: He has 3 taps in his shower. One cold water, another hot, and one for mustard.
Teen boy #2: I like mustard.
Teen boy #1: In the shower?
–Q43 bus
Overheard by: Sucka MC
Teen boy #1: He has 3 taps in his shower. One cold water, another hot, and one for mustard.
Teen boy #2: I like mustard.
Teen boy #1: In the shower?
–Q43 bus
Overheard by: Sucka MC
Old Italian lady #1: Your cat’s gonna get hit!
Asian Lady: Wha?
Old Italian lady #1: Your cat: it’s in the street! Someone’s gonna run over it!
Asian lady: Huh?
Old Italian lady #1: Your ca–
Old Italian lady #2: She doesn’t care about the cat. Those Orientals, they eat cats.
–Carroll Gardens bodega
Chinese woman #1: Her husband is so cheap!
Chinese woman #2: Yeah, well…
Chinese woman #1: Where do you find someone like that?
Chinese woman #2: He’s a Shanghai-nese.
Chinese woman #1: Oh…Well, you know how those people are.
Translated from the Chinese.
–7 train
Yuppie guy #1: Armagnac?
Yuppie guy #2: Yeah, armagnac. It’s pretty much like cognac.
Yuppie guy #1: And it’s made by Armani?
–Varick & Franklin
Overheard by: Timothy Wilson
Girl: Did you just call him a dirty Guatemalan?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: Are you sure you didn’t have the wrong number?
Guy: I don’t know what the fuck is going on.
–Chip Shop, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Domi
Girl on cell: Mom! Guess what? We are having a full moon in New York tonight.
Girl #2: You so stupid…it’s everywhere!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Jim Chambers
New mom #1: I’ve been constipated for the past three months.
New mom #2: Tell me about it.
–Madison Square Park
Woman: Oh my god, I love my cat. My cat is my reason for living. My cat is like a dog, only in cat form…
–34th & 8th
Hawker guy: AM New York! The rooster of newspapers! Find out why I’m a cock-a-doodle-do-ing!
–42nd & Lexington
Suit on cell: I can’t wait to get back to Boston. This town is like an elephant graveyard for my exes. Yeah, instead of elephants, all my exes come here to rest.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Matt Murdock
Girl: I hit a firefly driving up there and my windshield was all gooey, slimy and shiny…so I thought of you.
–Washington Square
Queer: Ohmigod, I thought that was the ugliest baby in the world, but it’s a bulldog.
–West 4th & Cornelia
Overheard by: Raphael
Girl: I’ve never been pooped on. At least not by a bird.
–71st & 1st
Guy: …yes, I’m going to put that in my octopus.
–St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Jenny + Pete
Girl: Whoa, it smells like hamster piss right here.
–1st & 1st
Teen boy: Man, next time I see him, it’s over. I’ll throw worms on his ass if I have to.
–Fordham Road
Crazy guy: Want to see my website? It’ll cost you. Want to see it? $100. Naw, you don’t have that sort of money. I need to jazz it up. It has pictures of dead animals on it.
–D train
Overheard by: Taybin Rutkin
Woman: So how was the blind date?
Man: Ugh, you know. He’s tall, white, and a vegan. The same as every man in this world.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Mike Drucker
Little girl: But I’m not on line for Harry Potter; I want to go to the bathroom!
–Barnes & Noble, Astor Place
