Teen boy #1: Don’t worry, I’ve been taking the 7 train since I was 5.
Teen boy #2: How old are you now?
Teen boy #1: 17.
Teen boy #2: So you’ve been taking the 7 train from…8 years ago?
Teen boy #1: Naw, man. 8 yrs ago I was 10.
–7 train
Overheard by: Jenn Hue
Guy #1: Hey. Do you want some blow?
Guy #2: Um, excuse me, but that’s my dad.
Guy #1: Oh. Sorry…Whatever. I meant blowjob.
–Spirit, West 27th Street
Overheard by: e jack
Store girl: “Fraternity test”?
Store guy: I’ve been saying it that way all these years.
–K-mart, East 8th Street
Guy: Hey, have you ever been to Alcoholics Anonymous?
Girl: No, I’ve never been to a triple-A meeting.
Guy: No dumbass, it’s AA for Alcoholics Anonymous.
Girl: Oh, yeah? Well what does AAA stand for?
Guy: Association…of…American…no, wait…Automobiles? Fuck, I don’t know. It’s for cars, stupid.
–E train
Overheard by: Dan & John
A guy walking down the steps slips but manages to catch himself.
Guy #2: Nice recovery.
Guy #1: Easier than rehab!
–22nd & 9th
Overheard by: Ari Fleischer
Teen boy: Didn’t you know those iPod headphones are bad for you?
Teen girl: No, they’re not.
Teen boy: Uh huh. Look in your manual. It says to throw them away as soon as you buy them.
–F train
Overheard by: sarah kauffman
Dude: Wait, who’s Pete?
Chick: Pete’s the guy who’s sleeping with John’s girlfriend.
Dude: Oh, right.
–Office, 48th & 6th
Overheard by: this guy
Guy #1: You mean the roommate who sleeps naked on the top bunk?
Guy #2: No, that’s Bobby. I’m talking about Steve. He’s the one who farts all the time.
Guy #1: My bad.
–81st & Broadway
Overheard by: Dr. X
Guy #1: I shouldn’t even pay rent in my house, I’m out so much. I should be homeless; I’m barely ever there.
Guy #2: You could live at the ASPCA!
Guy #1: Yeah, the ASPCA. It’s a good place to live. My ex-girlfriends live there.
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal, Staten Island
Overheard by: Barnaby McSwooptang
Man: All our stores are in the St. Louis area.
Woman: So all your stores are in Ohio?
–Javits Center
Girl #1: You shouldn’t waste all that food; there’s people in countries like China who are starving and would love to eat that.
Girl #2: …People in China don’t starve; they have Chinese food there.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Carly
Tourist lady: Um, I have a non-train related question.
MTA guy: What?
Tourist lady: Is there a nice place to get some coffee or tea around here?
MTA guy: Yeah, outside.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: rod vanderlaan
Announcement: Please be nice going on and off the escalators.
–Smith-9th Streets station
Overheard by: Fulcanelli
Girl #1: I don’t understand why they gotta say “How you doin'” and “Have a nice day.”
Girl #2: They’re trying to be nice, stupid.
–KFC, 125th & 7th
Overheard by: Edwina P. Garza
