Girl: Are you a conservative or a liberal?
Guy: I know all teenagers are supposed to be liberal, but I’m pretty conservative.
Girl: Oh my god, I know exactly what you mean. I was conservative until last week when I saw V for Vendetta. How hot is Natalie Portman?
–Bronx High School of Science
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, there is no need to rush onto this train, pushing others and possibly risking a fall, an injury, or worse. This is a 6 train and at this time of day there will be another 6 train every 5 minutes, so there is no need to risk injury… There will be another 6 train coming in 5 minutes. What do you think this is, the Tunaville Trolley? This is the 6 train!
–6 train
Guido: Hey you talk to me like that again, and I’ll talk to my people, who’ll talk to your people. And I’ll have you buried under Yankee Stadium with JFK.
Other guy: Don’t you mean under Giants Stadium with Jimmy Hoffa?
Guido: Whatever!
–Madison Square Garden
Little girl: Do you have HBO DIRECTV?
Little boy: I don’t know.
Little girl: If you have HBO, you do. My favorite movie is on there: Titanic. It’s about a girl who loves a boy and they’re all frozen at the end.
Little boy: Who gets slapped?
–F train
Overheard by: stephanie k
Teen girl #1: Bitches be dissin’ on Disney Channel.
Teen girl #2: Yeah.
Teen girl #1: But you know them bitches be runnin’ home to watch That’s So Raven.
Teen girl #2: It’s 7:15.
Teen girl #1: Shit, we gonna miss it.
–4 train
Overheard by: Noah Gallagher
Guy: But you’re my Asian…
Girl: I don’t know. You haven’t been feeding me lately.
Guy: You’re not a Tamagatchi!
Girl: Maybe I am.
–Tisch School of the Arts, Broadway & Waverly
Overheard by: Dan O’Connor
Crazy guy: I give you Jesus!
Blind man: Is that Mel Gibson? You nitwit!
–97th & Broadway
Guy #1: Who is that playing?
Guy #2: Norah Jones.
Guy #1: Isn’t she the one who started something?
Guy #2: Started what?
Guy #1: Like didn’t she stand up on a bus?
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Girl #1: I don’t have a boyfriend.
Professor guy: Sure, sure, sure..I can go on MySpace.com and find out the truth.
Class: Ha, ha, ha!
Professor guy: What? You think we don’t know about MySpace?
Girl #2: She has a picture of herself in underwear on hers!
–FIT
Man #1: Yeah, so all comedians are Jewish. Jon Stewart, David Blaine–
Girl: He’s Jewish? God, I totally want to have sex with David Blaine.
Man #2: Do magicians count as comedians?
–B11 bus
