Little boy: How 'bout you get naked, and I get naked, and then we give naked hugs!

St. Joseph, Michigan

20-something girl: Do you remember that guy last night?
Friend: Oh, him? Yeah, I think he motor-boated me.

Canisius College
Buffalo, New York

Gay son: I need a sugar daddy.
Mother: You and me both.
Gay son: But I have a booty.
Mother, after long pause, and looking out the window: I have weeds where I once had grass…

Murrieta, California

Overheard by: I hope I don't become my mother

Tech enthusiast: Wait, did you say ‘cyber sex’?
Dude: No — cyborg sex.
Tech enthusiast: Cyborg sex? That’s even better!

Guy #1: Man, I've tried everything. I don't know what to do.
Guy #2: Have you tried sex?
Guy #1: Actually, no…

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Thesis advisor to uncomfortable-looking advisees: You girls might be too young for it, but if you ever have the chance to have sex on a water bed, you should do it.

Colgate University
Madison County, New York

Girl: It's like, you're just doing whatever, and suddenly you're in the middle of an orgy, you know?
Friend: Yeah, I totally know.

Memorial University, St. John's
Newfoundland, Canadia

Overheard by: Clearly doing

Tough guy at urinal: So you live around here?
Tough guy at different urinal: Nope, just pee here.

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Overheard by: Cameron

Woman to man: She fucked the lobster?

Cincinnati, Ohio

Guy, clueless: Wow, I can't believe Snape was evil the whole time!
Girl, exasperated: I can't believe I fuck you every night.

Cinema, after Harry Potter
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Ellen