Lesbian #1: Do you think she’s a trannie?
Lesbian #2: I don’t know. Would you still do her if she was?
Lesbian #1: She’s so hot that it wouldn’t even matter.
Lesbian #2: Then can you let me off the hook for sleeping with that
hermaphrodite?
–Long Island City
Girl: Shit yo, this campaign is like being skullfucked by a Lego man.
–49th & 7th
Girl #1: She’s such a cranky hobag slut.
Girl #2: I love how we call her “slut” and she’s never even had sex with another cat. Ever.
–Williamsburg coffee shop
Queer #1: I think watersports are fun!
Queer #2: Disgusting. I’d never! Oh, please, don’t tell me you’ve ever tried it.
Queer #3: I’m a Jew. What, am I going to deny a guest in my own home?
–Cleo’s, 9th Avenue
Guy #1: Hey man, how was your weekend?
Guy #2: Awesome! Bumped into an old girlfriend…repeatedly.
–N train
Girl #1: …so we are at this audition and they ask us to step out and say what we like to do in our spare time. So this guy steps out and says “discussing philosophy”. I mean, how pretentious can you get?
Girl #2: Well, what did you expect him to say? “Getting my dick sucked by total strangers”?
–68th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Betty Noir
Girl: Did you really fuck that other girl?
Guy: No, not really. She fucked me.
Girl: Oh okay. You’re really an asshole, you know that?
Guy: Sure.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Robert
Girl: So he comes in with this necklace that says, “I’m an asshole”. And I’m, like, how are you? And he says, “I’m an asshole.”
–15th & 8th
Overheard by: boswell
Guy on cell: Yeah, I’m wearing ahhh…a football jersey and Speedos.
–Houston & Allen
Overheard by: M!J
Girl: So what does that mean? I don’t know how to read him. And when he does all these sexual things for me and asks nothing in return, does that mean he loves me or that I will owe him in the future?
Guy: Cut it out already, bunny boiler!
–Hudson Hotel, West 58th Street
Girl #1: Oh, I never want to have sex when I feel fat.
Girl #2: But I feel fat and want to have sex tonight. I’m so conflicted!
Girl #1: Well, go home and take a laxative, it will make you feel better.
–Amsterdam & 68th
