Wednesday One-Liners Ride a Vespa

Hipster on cell: I’m not even buying anything. I’m just here to be seen.

–Trader Joe’s

Hipster boy: I loves me some master race!

–Lobby, the Met

Overheard by: Shayna

Tipsy hipster girl: Wine is so, like, the blood of the gods!

–W 4th & Christopher St

Hipster guy: I think the most truly good person who’s ever been on this earth was Gandhi. Or maybe Martin Luther King, Junior… But he was black.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Ghandi was Indian..

Drunk chick: What kind of hipsters are you that you won’t fuck a girl just because she wants to wear a Sailor Moon costume?

–St. Mark’s Pl

Posted on April 22, 2023
All Wednesday One-Liners, Arts & Letters, Clothing, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Girls, Grocery Stores, Guys, Hipsters, History & Geography, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, More museums, Museums, On Cell, People, Places, Politics, Race, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Shopping, The Met, The Village, Times Square, Topics, Union Square and East Village, Venues

Wednesday One-liners Are All About Location

Mom: Don’t think of it as losing a friend…but as gaining a holiday destination.

–A train

Overheard by: Clacky

Posted on March 14, 2023
College, Columbia (& Barnard), History & Geography, Manhattan, One-liners, Parents, Sex, The Village, Union Square and East Village

The Beds Were Covered with Sheet

Woman: This reminds me of the time my son caught us having sex in his bed.
Man: Which one?
Woman: The second time for my older son.
Man: Yeah…That was the filthiest sex ever.

–LIRR train

Overheard by: Sue Ludmilla

Posted on March 7, 2023
Kink, On the Subway, Parents, Sex, Sex & Relationships

Stay on Topic for God’s Sake!

Jock #1: Don’t you dare tell me that Santa Claus doesn’t exist. I’ll kick your ass.
Jock #2: Shut up, you know he doesn’t exist.
Jock #1: Then who the hell puts the presents under the tree?!
Jock #2: Your mom does!
Jock #3: I’d totally do your mom. No lie.
Jock #2: Me, too.
Jock #1: Santa exists, dammit!

–Midtown Direct train

Overheard by: Believes

Posted on March 6, 2023
Friends, Holidays, Idiots, Sex, Stupidity, Trains Not Subway

Wednesday One-Liners for Vanessa Hudgens

Girl on phone: Well then, riddle me this, smart guy: why'd I wake up naked?

–Smith & Sackett, Cobble Hill

Overheard by: Swimfan

Girl: Oh my god! I can't wait to see them naked!

–Elevator, Times Square Arts Center

Overheard by: Natalie

Museum worker: And then I woke up buck naked in a hotel, and there were pictures of me all over the room.

–Museum of Art and Design

Guy: No, I will not do it in here again. Just because I'm wearing nothing under my jacket, doesn't mean I'm going to flash a crowd of people in every store we enter. I've done it three times already. Get your rocks off some other way.

–Columbus Circle Mall Escalator

Overheard by: Martin

Drunk girl at NYU protest: I don't even know why I'm here, I just want to take off my clothes!

–NYU Kimmel Center

Overheard by: Lilo

Girl on train: Oh, hi! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on.

–A Train

Overheard by: Don't even wanna know

Girl on cell: So I'm gonna be naked, but that's okay, I'll be wearing rollerblades.

–N 4th & Bedford Ave

Posted on March 1, 2023
9 to 5-ers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Clothing, Drunks, Elevators, Girls, Guys, Malls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, More museums, Nudity, NYU, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Physical appearance, Pictures, Questions, Sex, Street, Stupidity, Times Square, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

I’m Not Hearing a ‘No’

Dude: Bitch, you’re one hot bitch.
Girl: Did you just call me a bitch?
Dude: Wanna have sex?
Girl: I would, but I have to walk in this direction now.

–Central Park

Posted on February 17, 2023
Central Park, Nicknames & name calling, Pick-up Lines, Sex, Strangers

Fuckin’ Wednesday One-liners

Hipster: Of course I saw her fuck him–I was watching!

–Grand St, Williamsburg

Guy: I even thought about taking him to the tranny bar, you know, so he could be free.

–Sounds, St. Marks Place

Overheard by: Dr. Ballon

Posted on February 16, 2023
Guys, Hipsters, Sex, Wednesday One-Liners

I Suppose That Depends on Which Bunk

Hipster #1: …I don’t know dude, I wouldn’t fuck her.
Hipster #2: What? Why not? She’s hot!
Hipster #1: I don’t like fucking ’em when they’re taller than me. Feels too much like prison sex.

–F train

Posted on January 30, 2023
Hipsters, Sex, Subway stations, platforms, etc.

Those Poor Crabs Are Now in Detox

Old junkie guy #1: …So the bitch is fucking bitching about wearin’ a condom. She won’t let me bust my nut in her ’til I slap one on. So I do! And the bitch gives me crabs!
Old junkie guy #2: What a ho.

–Bx15 bus

Posted on January 27, 2023
Assholes, Condoms, Druggies, Insults, Old People, On the Bus, Players, Sex, STDs

Wednesday One-liners Went There

Woman: All right, but you’ve really got to stop smoking once you start showing.

–14th & 7th

Guy: We were going by and her mom said, “Hey Mindy! Jumprope! Want to
pee?”.

–Suffolk Street rooftop

Teen girl on cell: Things have changed. We’re not even friends anymore; she’s like this expensive tampon-wearing, stuck-up slut. So what if she can afford Tampax Pearl, I’m still better than her!

–49th & Broadway

Bored woman on cell: Yes baby, that’s the spot, I’m coming.

–F train

Jewish JHS boy: My older brother keeps calling me a pussy and telling me I have to play sports. He’s such a douche.

–S train

Overheard by: Jennifer Smith

Teenage girl: But I think it’s always a bad sign when you see blood floating in the ocean, whether it’s actually whale menstrual fluid or not.

–Macy’s

Overheard by: djlindee

Posted on January 17, 2023
All Wednesday One-Liners, Menstruation, Sex, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Sex