Mom: Honey, I just wish you would want a happy, successful marriage like I have.
Adult daughter: Third time’s the charm, huh, Mom?
–Starbucks, 78th & Lex
Overheard by: Shut up, Mom, a.k.a. this is so much like my life it’s crazy
Mom: Honey, I just wish you would want a happy, successful marriage like I have.
Adult daughter: Third time’s the charm, huh, Mom?
–Starbucks, 78th & Lex
Overheard by: Shut up, Mom, a.k.a. this is so much like my life it’s crazy
Woman #1: We saw Chorus Line.
Woman #2: Oh, I’ve seen that. It’s really sexist.
Woman #1: No, they re-did it. It’s not really sexist anymore.
Woman #2: Oh, really?
Woman #1: Yeah, now it’s just boring.
–Starbucks
Boy #1: When I’m in high school, I’ll only be able to get blowjobs standing up!
Boy #2: Rad.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Joe Coleman
Granny: I’m babysitting for my daughter’s kids next Thursday.
Friend: What? You just sat for them last Thursday!
Granny: No, no, — I couldn’t make it that time.
Friend: But still…
Granny: Well, she has a lot of doctors’ appointments lately. Anyway, I just take them out for lunch and give them French fries.
–Starbucks, 70th & Broadway
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Tourist: Tall? That is not a tall coffee — that is small!
Local chick: Well, that’s why they call it ‘tall,’ so you don’t think it’s small.
–Starbucks, Wall St & Broadway
Overheard by: murx
Customer: But I just gave you 10 dollars.
Male barista: No, I gave you 10 dollars, which was a mistake.
Customer: Wait. Wait. No, you gave me twenty.
Male barista: Can I have it back?
Customer: No! It’s my change!
Male barista: But you just gave me 10 dollars!
–Starbucks
Overheard by: alanna
Girl #1: I see them. They’re waiting for us. Do you think they can see us?
Girl #2: Oh, no, he’s calling me! What do I do? I’m not answering. Let’s just wait for them to leave.
Girl #3: Didn’t he say there was going to be a group of them? There’s only three.
Girl #2: I know! And his friend isn’t even there. He said he was coming. He said he was going to give my number to his friend, too. He totally scumbagged him! We’re not going over there.
Girl #1: At least we are warm.
Girl #2: They’re wearing khakis. This guy is so sneaky.
Girl #3: They’re coming this way!
Girl #1: They’re coming in!
Girl #2: Oh, shit! What do I do?! This guy is such a loser. I know it’s mean, but what he’s doing is f’ed up. His friend was standing there when I gave my number. He was really cute and funny. [Ducks as guys enter.]Girl #1, whispering: They’re headed over here.
Girl #2: Hey! How are you? We were just on our way over!
Creepy guy: Hey, thought you weren’t coming. It’s hug time! Get over here!
–Starbucks, Astor Pl
Overheard by: L.C.
Man #1: Do you think in a past life you were a lemon?
Man #2: Why do you ask?
Man #1: I was just wondering…
–Starbucks
Mom: Tie your shoelace.
Little girl: No.
Mom: If you don’t tie your shoelace, something very bad will happen to you!
–Starbucks
Chubby Asian girl: I just don’t know, Dani* — if you start out giving him head, I don’t see what I’m supposed to do.
Ghetto girl: You s’posed to shut the fuck up and eat my pussy, bitch.
Chubby Asian girl: Oh, okay.
–Starbucks, St. Mark’s Pl
