Girl #1: I was a little drunkpants at the bar last night.
Girl #2: Oh really? What do those look like?
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: What do drunkpants look like?
Girl #1: I don’t get it.
–Nederlander Theater, West 41st Street
Girl #1: I was a little drunkpants at the bar last night.
Girl #2: Oh really? What do those look like?
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: What do drunkpants look like?
Girl #1: I don’t get it.
–Nederlander Theater, West 41st Street
Girl #1: What did your mom give you for your birthday?
Girl #2: Oh, just money.
Girl #1: When are you gonna go shopping?
Girl #2: I’m gonna save it. I spent too much money this weekend celebrating.
Girl #1: What better to spend it on if not clothes and booze?
Girl #2: I don’t know. Donate it to starving children in Ecuador or something.
Girl #1: Blah, blah, blah.
–11th Street & 3rd Avenue
Girl #1: I know it smells kind of cheap, but I like it because it’s the perfume I was wearing when I lost my virginity.
Girl #2: I thought you were wearing Ralph when you lost it.
Girl #1: No, that was my other virginity.
–60th & Columbus
Overheard by: Lindsay Hall
Teen boy #1: People tell me that I have an “I think I’m better than everyone” complex. But the thing is, that I don’t think I’m better than everyone, I know I am. I’m more intelligent, more thoughtful, more articulate…
Teen boy #2: Prettier…
Teen boy #1: Well, I don’t know about prettier, but I know I’m better than most people.
Teen boy #2: I know. The problem is when you say that, people think you’re an asshole. And it’s like, at work, I know I’m so much smarter than everyone there, but I can never do anything right. They never listen to me because I’m only 18 years old.
–M60 bus
Overheard by: Abby
Man: What’s the name of that wine? Lan?
Bartender guy: Yep, Lan.
Man: That doesn’t stand for Large Area Network, does it?
Bartender guy: Er, no.
Man: Good.
–Bar Minnow, Park Slope
Overheard by: Armchair Athlete
Woman #1: You know, black is the new pink…Did you hear me?
Woman #2: Yeah, I just chose not to respond.
–Filene’s Basement, 79th & Broadway
Overheard by: lady cub
Teacher guy: You guys know that clock in Union Square that goes
backwards, right?
Teen girl: But why does it change?
–Midwood High School
Tourist lady: Excuse me, can you tell me which way Times Square is?
Guy: Um…really? Turn around lady.
–49th & 7th
Overheard by: Gregory
Girl: Hey, you know I heard this guy did drugs one time, and he had some kind of permanent reaction, and now he thinks he’s a glass of orange juice!
Guy: Oh yeah, I heard about that. He goes around telling people not to tip him!
Girl: Yeah, yeah. Hey, imagine if he saw someone drinking orange juice.
Guy: Now that would be funny.
–Fontana Sushi, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Fiona F.
Teen girl #1: So I gave her her piece.
Teen girl #2: You gave her herpes?
Teen boy #1: No, she gave her her piece.
Teen girl #1: Of chocolate.
Teen girl #2: Ha, ha, ha! “Gave her herpes.” Her piece.
Teen boy #1: Herpes chocolate!
Teen girl #2: Knock, knock.
Teen boy #1: Who’s there?
Teen girl #2: Herpes.
Teen boy #1: Herpes who?
Teen girl #2: Her piece of chocolate!…Hey, Milton! Knock, knock!
Teen boy #2: Who’s there?
Teen girl #2: Herpes!…Milton, you have to say, “herpes who?”!
Teen boy #2: No.
Teen girl #2: You suck, Milton!
Teen girl #1: No, you suck.
Old woman: That’s true.
–1 train
