Girl: Hey, you know I heard this guy did drugs one time, and he had some kind of permanent reaction, and now he thinks he’s a glass of orange juice!
Guy: Oh yeah, I heard about that. He goes around telling people not to tip him!
Girl: Yeah, yeah. Hey, imagine if he saw someone drinking orange juice.
Guy: Now that would be funny.
–Fontana Sushi, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Fiona F.
Teen girl #1: So I gave her her piece.
Teen girl #2: You gave her herpes?
Teen boy #1: No, she gave her her piece.
Teen girl #1: Of chocolate.
Teen girl #2: Ha, ha, ha! “Gave her herpes.” Her piece.
Teen boy #1: Herpes chocolate!
Teen girl #2: Knock, knock.
Teen boy #1: Who’s there?
Teen girl #2: Herpes.
Teen boy #1: Herpes who?
Teen girl #2: Her piece of chocolate!…Hey, Milton! Knock, knock!
Teen boy #2: Who’s there?
Teen girl #2: Herpes!…Milton, you have to say, “herpes who?”!
Teen boy #2: No.
Teen girl #2: You suck, Milton!
Teen girl #1: No, you suck.
Old woman: That’s true.
–1 train
Chick: I know you’ll think I’m crazy, but I just don’t believe that dinosaurs ever existed.
Guy: What? Well, where do you think those dinosaur bones come from?
Chick: People just make them and put them in the ground and then dig them up so they will be famous.
Guy: I can’t believe you’re serious.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Kathie Samuelson
WASP man: Yeah. I suffered in jail for 16 years with my first wife. My second wife died of cancer after 5 years. I’ve been married to this one a year and a half…Two out of three’s not bad; if this were baseball, I’d be making a mint.
–A train
Overheard by: Lia
Girl: Do you know they make cameras without film now?
–L train
Bag lady: Hey, you guys, can you help me out? I’m really hungry!…You need a dye job, you know! Your roots are showing.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Drew
Woman: So they’re paying the kidnappers child support? I mean I know they want to support their child, but where is the money going? To those crazy people.
–L train
Overheard by: Kelly Marie
Teen girl: So I read that article and cried and cried until my Mom was
like, “Stop crying. You’re retarded.”
–1 train
Crazy guy: Can I taste some of your saliva?
Teen girl: What he just say?
Teen boy: He wanted to taste my salami?
Teen girl: Ha, ha. Say yeah.
Teen boy: Yeah!
–7th Street & 3rd Avenue
Promoter guy: This your first time at the Empire State Building?
Dude: Yeah, it is.
Promoter guy: Cool. Where are you from?
Dude: Native New Yorker.
Promoter guy: I don’t want to talk to you.
–Empire State Building
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
