Boyfriend: I wish I had a dog.
Girlfriend: I wish I were a dog.
–Union Square
Overheard by: arctinus
Boyfriend: I wish I had a dog.
Girlfriend: I wish I were a dog.
–Union Square
Overheard by: arctinus
Buddhist: Excuse me, sir, are you a New Yorker?
Obvious New Yorker: Go fuck yourself!
–Union Square
Overheard by: playtoe
Woman: And what’s your favorite food?
Little boy: Starbucks!
–19th & Broadway
Man #1: Hey, man, how’s your mom doing? I hear she’s kinda sick.
Man #2: Yeah, she’s not doing so well. She lost her second leg.
Man #1: What? She lost another one?
Man #2: Yeah, son. She called me the other day because she couldn’t find it. I went to her house and looked everywhere for it, but nothing, son… Nothing. It’s fucked up, you know what I’m saying?
Man #1: Yeah, son. That’s some fucked up shit. Damn, son.
–Atlantic & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: MS
Girl #1: I walked in on my boy masturbating while we where getting ready for sex.
Girl #2: Oh my god, I love masturbating before sex. It’s like a free orgasm.
Girl #1: Me, too. It’s, like, spiritual in my family.
–4th St & Park Ave
Man #1: Has she told you that she loves you yet?
Man #2: No… She’s much too intelligent for that.
–Unioin Square
Dude to woman: You can’t talk about the second dimension, but you can talk about sewing?!
–12th & 4th
Overheard by: Joy
Asian woman to boyfriend: I am not going to talk about having a threesome with you and your clone on the train!
–Brooklyn-bound F train
Overheard by: Ann
Chick on cell: … Talking about the apocalypse, but they were really laid back people.
–Barnard College
Lady: I can’t even talk to you for seven minutes, and you’re about to be my husband!
–Union Square
Woman on cell: I know you’re full of muscle relaxants and want to chat, but I can’t talk right now. Just take a picture of it and email it to me.
–57th & 6th
Overheard by: Withnail
Girl: Oh! Funny story — I was talking to my therapist about suicide yesterday…
–13th & 6th
Overheard by: gigglesnort
College kid #1: You know why I like the Village?
College kid #2: Why?
College kid #1: It’s not Times Square.
College kid #2: Oh, I love the Village because you can eat at a classy pizza establishment and then go next door and buy a dildo.
–13th & 6th
Three-year-old: Why are you staring at me?
Trashy mom: ‘Cause you’re funny-lookin’.
–Filene’s Basement, Union Square
Hipster guy: The Trekkies have yet to produce their own serial murderer.
Hipster girl: Yeah, that we know about…
–St. Mark’s Pl & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: The Doifter
