Cashier: Do you want a bag?
Elderly Village-type customer: Do I want a bag? What, am I gonna carry it out in my mouth?
–Strand Bookstore, 12th & Broadway
Overheard by: Jake Elwell
Cashier: Do you want a bag?
Elderly Village-type customer: Do I want a bag? What, am I gonna carry it out in my mouth?
–Strand Bookstore, 12th & Broadway
Overheard by: Jake Elwell
Woman #1: Yeah, we went to the hot springs there. They were so nice.
Woman #2: They had those in Hostel 2 and the girl died.
Woman #1: Oh… Well, that didn’t happen to us.
–Union Square
Lady: What are you all waiting for?
26th guy in line for iPhone: The new Harry Potter book.
27th guy in line: Shrek 4.
28th guy in line: Free crack. [Lady walks away.]
–AT&T store, Union Square
Street vendor #1: Do you have a picture of Jesus Christ in your home?
Street vendor #2: What?
Street vendor #1: Jesus — do you have his picture?
Street vendor #2: Who?
Street vendor #1: Jesus!
–14th & Broadway
Overheard by: Lotte
Girl on first date: I love animals.
Guy on first date: I love animals, too, but I see a snake and I’ll shoot it in the face.
–Union Square
Sweaty girl #1: Sometimes I do the poses just a little bit wrong so the instructors will correct me.
Sweaty girl #2: Oh, I know! I’m not a lesbian, but I would let today’s instructor touch me all over!
–Yoga to the People, St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: Cooper C
Drunk, nearly toothless hobo #1, putting arms around unsuspecting teens: Nigga, I would like to tell you a story!
Drunk, nearly toothless hobo #2, surprising teens from other side: Listen to his story, nigga. It’s a wonderful story — listen up.
–St. Mark’s Pl & 2nd Ave
Dude: I’m sorry. I feel like I’m talking too much.
Chick: It’s okay — I like to hear you talk.
Dude: Well, I like to hear you listen.
–9th & 2nd
Asian girl: I can’t believe you blocked me from Galen.
Hawaiian boy: Well, he’s bisexual, so it’s fair game to both of us.
Hipster girl: But he asked her first. You totally cock-blocked your fag hag. You can’t cock-block your fag hag!
–12th & 1st
Drunk goth chick to couple making out: Public displays of affection cause cancer!
Man, taking a break: Really?
Drunk goth chick: No. Just jealousy.
–9th & 3rd
