Woman furiously swinging her purse at tourist seated next to her: What?! You were sitting on my hand the entire way! You deserve this!
Tourist: Uh, thank you.
–6 train
Overheard by: naners
Woman furiously swinging her purse at tourist seated next to her: What?! You were sitting on my hand the entire way! You deserve this!
Tourist: Uh, thank you.
–6 train
Overheard by: naners
Service person #1: Ha! They all think we’re gonna shoot them.
Service person #2: No, we won’t shoot you, but I will shoot that woman in the fur coat over there.
–Marine Air terminal, LaGuardia
Overheard by: Pick-Qwick
Preppy guy waiting for walk signal: Hi there.
Hot girl: Um, do I know you?
Preppy guy: No, I was just being friendly…
Hot girl: Oh, yeah? Well then why don’t you say hi to her, too? [Points to fat chick nearby.]Preppy guy, to himself: God, I hate New Yorkers…
–Central Park
Overheard by: well I LOVE New Yorkers
20-something girl with mom, hands full: Could you hit One for me?
Man, pushing button: You’re welcome.
20-something girl: Oh! Thank you.
Man: Learn some manners.
20-something girl: Man, I’d tell you to fuck yourself if my mom wasn’t with me.
–20th St & 1st Ave
AM New York hawker: Have a fantastic morning!
Embittered commuter: Stay away from me!
–7th Ave, E/B/D station
Overheard by: Jatmos
Young woman running up platform, slamming into tourist lady: Damn fucking tourists! Get the fuck out of my way!
Tourist lady: Excuse me, what?
Young woman: Don’t be ‘what’-ing me. I just gave you a New-fucking-York experience. You should be thanking me.
–Subway station, 42nd St
Overheard by: Susane
Tourist lady: Excuse me, where is West 54th Street?
Guy: You’re on it.
Tourist lady: Do you know where Jay Leno is?
Guy: Los Angeles.
–W 54th & 6th
Overheard by: shankalicious
Conductor: Uh, ma’am, you can’t stand in the doorway.
Woman: Why not?
Conductor: Because then the train won’t move.
Woman: And who’s it to you to tell me what I can and can’t do on this train? I’m a New Yorker, I have rights!
Conductor: I’m the conductor.
Woman: Well, then I don’t want to be on your train!
–A train
Overheard by: Calmandodd
Lady standing in line for bus: Excuse me? Can we board the bus now? It’s so dirty here…
Three New Yorkers at once: Fuck you, lady!
Guy passerby: I love New York.
–Port Authority
Girl: My life is kind of boring for how cool I am.
–Greenwich & Perry, West Village
Overheard by: B-rooke
Hobo: It’s kind of rough being the most handsome toothless guy in the world.
–Washington Square Park fountain
30-ish hipster wannabe: How can you not see how amazing I am?
–53rd St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Someone still looking for something amazing.
Asian girl on cell: I’m not elitist, I’m just better than everyone else.
–59th & 5th
Angry rastafarian: What are you looking at? I am the best crazy Jesus-believer ever!
–5 train
Overheard by: believed him
