Hipster chick #1: I wish they had a whole pizza made of crust. I would so buy it.
Hipster chick #2: Me, too!
Queer: You mean bread?
–Pino’s La Forchetta, Park Slope
Hipster chick #1: I wish they had a whole pizza made of crust. I would so buy it.
Hipster chick #2: Me, too!
Queer: You mean bread?
–Pino’s La Forchetta, Park Slope
Older guy: Are you a millionaire?
Younger lady: No, my parents are in the Polish mafia.
–Leonard between Meserole & Norman, Greenpoint
Overheard by: Greg
Middle-aged Italian man #1: I’s a-gonna buy dis pickle. It’s been six months since I hadda pickle. I don’t eat no pickles lately.
Middle-aged Italian man #2: Why not?
Middle-aged Italian man #1: I dunno. Every time it’s like I’m-a suckinacock.
–fruit stand near Hamilton & Columbia, Fort Hamilton
Hipster girl #1: Why would someone tell you that right after meeting you?
Hipster girl #2: Honestly, why can’t you just say your favorite movie is The Lord of the Rings instead of Lord of the Rings porn?
–Bedford & South 2nd, Williamsburg
Teacher: Ok, settle down, we’re going to watch this biography video.
Student: It better not be about Hitler, yo!
Teacher: What’s wrong with Hitler?
–I.S. 162, St. Nicholas & Willoughby
Teen girl #1: Is Mr. Parker* here today?
Teen girl #2: No, I think he was deported on Friday.
–Midwood High School, Brooklyn
Conductor on PA: And remember, it’s Fleet Week in the city and you’ll be seein’ lots of our service men and women in the streets. Be sure to express your appreciation and genuine gratitude for their service.
Young suit #1: For their services!
Young suit #2 Uhhhh, no; for their service. [points to scantily-clad girl with heavy makeup and fishnets] You’d thank her for her services.
–Manhattan-bound 2 train
Guy #1: I told you we shoulda gone to Manattan.
Guy #2: No way. I don’t see movies in Manhattan.
Guy #1: Why the hell not?
Guy #2: They shoot people there. It’s all silent than someone shouts something and then everyone is shooting. It’s scary.
–In line at Stadium 12, Court Street, Brooklyn
Junior high kid #1: Nigga you ghetto! That nigga’s mama fed him Spaghettios for breakfast!
Junior high kid #2: Nigga what you eat then, fool?
Junior high kid #1: Nigga my shit’s balanced — Pop Tarts and Odwalla, nigga, breakfast of champions!
–In front of White Castle, Metropolitan & Bushwick
Overheard by: OJ Phillips
Mom taking photos of son: Smile, sweetie.
[click click]
Mom: Smile from within, honey.
[click click]
Mom: Smiling from within means smile like you’re happy on the inside.
[click click]
Mom: Okay, not that much.
–Prospect Park
