Hipster girl #1: Why would someone tell you that right after meeting you?
Hipster girl #2: Honestly, why can’t you just say your favorite movie is The Lord of the Rings instead of Lord of the Rings porn?
–Bedford & South 2nd, Williamsburg
Hipster girl #1: Why would someone tell you that right after meeting you?
Hipster girl #2: Honestly, why can’t you just say your favorite movie is The Lord of the Rings instead of Lord of the Rings porn?
–Bedford & South 2nd, Williamsburg
Teacher: Ok, settle down, we’re going to watch this biography video.
Student: It better not be about Hitler, yo!
Teacher: What’s wrong with Hitler?
–I.S. 162, St. Nicholas & Willoughby
Teen girl #1: Is Mr. Parker* here today?
Teen girl #2: No, I think he was deported on Friday.
–Midwood High School, Brooklyn
Conductor on PA: And remember, it’s Fleet Week in the city and you’ll be seein’ lots of our service men and women in the streets. Be sure to express your appreciation and genuine gratitude for their service.
Young suit #1: For their services!
Young suit #2 Uhhhh, no; for their service. [points to scantily-clad girl with heavy makeup and fishnets] You’d thank her for her services.
–Manhattan-bound 2 train
Guy #1: I told you we shoulda gone to Manattan.
Guy #2: No way. I don’t see movies in Manhattan.
Guy #1: Why the hell not?
Guy #2: They shoot people there. It’s all silent than someone shouts something and then everyone is shooting. It’s scary.
–In line at Stadium 12, Court Street, Brooklyn
Junior high kid #1: Nigga you ghetto! That nigga’s mama fed him Spaghettios for breakfast!
Junior high kid #2: Nigga what you eat then, fool?
Junior high kid #1: Nigga my shit’s balanced — Pop Tarts and Odwalla, nigga, breakfast of champions!
–In front of White Castle, Metropolitan & Bushwick
Overheard by: OJ Phillips
Mom taking photos of son: Smile, sweetie.
[click click]
Mom: Smile from within, honey.
[click click]
Mom: Smiling from within means smile like you’re happy on the inside.
[click click]
Mom: Okay, not that much.
–Prospect Park
Conductor: Okay, okay…all you white people get off the train here. That’s right, hippies and hipsters. If you under thirty-five and white, you don’t want to stay on this train no mo’. The next stop will be the ghet-to!
–Flatbush-bound 2 express train at Eastern Parkway/Brooklyn Museum
Overheard by: chagrined hipster
Rocker doof #1: Dude we’re having this flannel party. We’re totally going to like put on Neil Young and CCR videos and shit.
Rocker doof #2: Dude I saw this movie Hype about like grunge or whatever and everyone was wearing flannel… but it totally wasn’t ironic!
–art opening, Kent & Metropolitan, Williamsburg
A Design Mom with baby bumps into a Design Woman coming out of Brooklyn Designs Show.
Design woman: Is that your daughter?
Design mom: Yes, it is.
Design woman: Oh my gosh! She’s so…so…geometric!
–Dumbo, outside Brooklyn Designs show
Overheard by: Fair Hooker
