Preteen girl #1: Hey, so they finally showed us how to draw different shapes. I can finally do clovers.
Preteen girl #2: You fucking bitch, you never showed me how to draw hearts.
–UA Sheepshead Bay
Preteen girl #1: Hey, so they finally showed us how to draw different shapes. I can finally do clovers.
Preteen girl #2: You fucking bitch, you never showed me how to draw hearts.
–UA Sheepshead Bay
Girl: The thing is, he’s too lazy to be a drug dealer.
–Bleecker & Mott
Guy leaving: See you tomorrow, I’m off to do some shoplifting!
–Smith & Union, Red Hook
Yuppie mom: Do you think my baby is old enough to do yoga?
–Union & Henry, Red Hook
Pregnant woman on cell: Mom, I gotta go. I can’t find Jason and I need to take him home before he plays Hide and Go Soil Yourself behind the stuffer machine.
–Build-A-Bear, 5th & 46th
Overheard by: Anna Lindgren
Man: Is this where I can get a date? ‘Cuz I want mine Priority!
Woman at counter: Um….
Man: That’s okay. I’ll take door number two!
–Atlantic Ave. Post Office, Boerum Hill
Puerto Rican teenager hanging with his homies: Yo GIMME YOUR BIKE!
Hipster riding by on his BMX: Gimme your haircut! I like your crispy hairlines!
–Grand & Havemayer
Overheard by: lil pirate
Little girl #1: Mom, can we have this?
Mother: Not now… Five minutes of silence.
Little girl #2: I want one of those bags!
Mother: Ok…Five minutes of silence or I start swingin’!
–Kings Discount Clothing Store, 18th Ave & 64th St, Bensonhurst
Teacher: He probably met her in Darfur.
Teen boy: Yeah, thats it. They probably met in college.
Teen girl: Are you kidding me?
Teen boy: What?
Teen girl: Darfur is not a college, it’s a country.
Teenboy: Umm, no. It’s a college.
Teen girl: No, it’s a country in Africa.
Teacher: She’s right. It’s a country in Africa.
Teen boy: Oh, I thought we were talking about the college Darfur.
Teen girl: Right….
–Poly Prep Country Day School
Overheard by: i know where darfur is.
Hipster chick #1: I wish they had a whole pizza made of crust. I would so buy it.
Hipster chick #2: Me, too!
Queer: You mean bread?
–Pino’s La Forchetta, Park Slope
Older guy: Are you a millionaire?
Younger lady: No, my parents are in the Polish mafia.
–Leonard between Meserole & Norman, Greenpoint
Overheard by: Greg
Middle-aged Italian man #1: I’s a-gonna buy dis pickle. It’s been six months since I hadda pickle. I don’t eat no pickles lately.
Middle-aged Italian man #2: Why not?
Middle-aged Italian man #1: I dunno. Every time it’s like I’m-a suckinacock.
–fruit stand near Hamilton & Columbia, Fort Hamilton
