Father: And that’s where Mommy is.
Little boy: That’s where the penis is!
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: E.B. Dresner
An ice cream truck is going up the street.
Little girl in wagon: Daddy, that truck song is annoying.
Hipster dad: Yes, the commodification of your desires is annoying, isn’t it?
–Bedford & N 10th
Overheard by: susan
Teen: This car is stolen.
Man: What the fuck you talking about?
Teen: I got a StolenCarReport on my phone about this car being stolen.
Man: Muthafucka, you about to get your phone stolen.
–Montague & Hicks, Brooklyn Heights
Man: The yogurt won’t fall. I’m straight.
Woman: You are straight!
Man: I am straight… now.
Woman: Thank god that’s over.
Man: Let’s get out of here before the whole thing collapses.
–Food Bazaar, Williamsburg
Guy #1: Is it disgusting that I think pregnant women are sexy?
Guy #2: Not necessarily.
Guy #1: Like that woman there. That round belly makes me want to come all over her face.
Guy #2: Okay, that is disgusting.
–Trader Joe’s, 14th St
Overheard by: Also Disgusted
Russian driver: I don’t know, she stop right in front of me.
Cop: She just slammed on the brakes? Why did she do that?
Russian driver: I don’t know, light was yellow. You know, green is go, red is stop, yellow is go faster.
Cop: Sure, absolutely.
–21st Ave & 77th St, Bensonhurst
Overheard by: Joel
Mom: You see? You almost hit that nice lady. Then she would have sued you and took all your PlayStation games
–N 12th & Bedford, Williamsburg
Overheard by: sonibug13
Mom: No, Cyrus! Don’t touch that! You have ringworm!
–Post office, Upper West Side
White dude: I’m blacker than the fucking poops you shit, son!
–Ditmas Ave
Latina: Shit, where’d all these white people come from?
–Ludlow St
Overheard by: Caroline McGraw
Desi kid #1: Shit I didn’t know Brooklyn was this advanced.
Desi kid #2: Isn’t that the Water Street dorm?
Desi kid #1: Oh yeah…
Desi kid #2: We didn’t quite make it off Manhattan, it seems.
–Water St
Overheard by: Innocenti
