Middle-aged female shopper: Excuse me, can you tell me where the matzoh is?
Fairway employee: Matzoh? I don’t know. What is that, a drink?
–Fairway Market, Red Hook, Brooklyn
Middle-aged female shopper: Excuse me, can you tell me where the matzoh is?
Fairway employee: Matzoh? I don’t know. What is that, a drink?
–Fairway Market, Red Hook, Brooklyn
Mother: Katie, why did you punch Audrey?
Young girl: Um, because she didn’t want to fight with me.
–15th St & Prospect Park West, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Gary Wax
Girl #1: I hate gushing blood. Gross.
Girl #2: Yeah, and retarded people
Girl #3: Yeah, retarded people scare me
Girl #2: ‘Cause you’ll never know what they’re gonna do, ’cause they’re retarded.
–KFC, King’s Highway, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Veronika
Loud, nerdy guy: They’re basically a bunch of shitty MySpace kids with mutant powers. Like the hedgehog kid: his power is that spikes come out of his body, what the fuck is that? I could roll around in glue and syringes and get that guy’s power.
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Zoh
Middle-Aged man: I think vampires are kind of stupid. They seem to care an awful lot about how they look and what others think. It’s like, who cares? You’re six hundred years old and on your way to hell, hello?
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Someone who thinks he has a point
Asian girl: One of my cousins is a dragon.
–32nd St
Overheard by: sneakyintern
Guy: My dad’s dating Jabba the Hutt with red eyebrows.
Girl: No!
–Myrtle & Washington, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Sara Jerome
Black lady with five kids: You can’t get anything here. We gots to get to Old Navy to buy us all our Fourth of July t-shirts so we match at the picnic.
Black guy: They have the best deal. Shirts are five dollars each, that’s like [counts kids, self, and wife] less than twenty bucks for all of us, and even the baby shit has a flag on it.
–Target, Atlantic Terminal, Brooklyn
Overheard by: lora
Girl: I accidentally got on at the wrong station and my card says “just used.” Could you let me through?
MTA employee: You broke the rules. Do you think it’s okay to break the rules where you work?
Girl: I’m sorry?
MTA employee: Oh, you must think you’re special. Guess what? You’re not.
Girl: My mom says I’m special.
–Bergen St. subway, Brooklyn
An ice cream truck is going up the street.
Little girl in wagon: Daddy, that truck song is annoying.
Hipster dad: Yes, the commodification of your desires is annoying, isn’t it?
–Bedford & N 10th
Overheard by: susan
