Teen boy #1: Well, it’s too bad once they have their clothes off you can’t get rid of them.
Teen boy #2: Oh, well I’d be like, “Bitch, what do you think you’re doing? You beast!”
Teen boy #1: Yeah, I guess you can do that. Just like get them naked and then analyze their bodies, and then dismiss them.
Teen boy #2: Exactly!
–86th & 19th, Brooklyn
Overheard by: kelly
Little girl #1: …and their eyes became red and they started laughing at random things!
Little girl #2: Hahaha. Let’s get out of here!
Both girls run away, laughing, down the street.
–Henry & Orange, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: CapitalJ
Chick: Then he peer-pressured me into being morbidly obese!
–1 train
Girl on cell: Nothing’s bigger than Oprah, not even my mother’s ass!
–Ocean Pkwy and Neptune Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld
Dude with flyers: New York Sports Club! Only 37 dollars! Get yo’ fat ass to the gym!
–Court & Joralemon, Brooklyn
Overheard by: elwood
Little boy: Mommy, I’m sick of all the fat girls in Coney Island.
–Queens Center Mall
Walking VD: It’s not cheating if she’s fat.
–Outside Jugo Juice, Times Square
Teen girl on cell: Ugh, great. Now she’s just going to make fun of me because I’m short and fat! Oh my God!
–Q46 bus
Overheard by: Melissa
Old lady, standing in front of the Leda and the Swan statue: Gee, I guess she must really like that swan.
–The Met
Frat boy: She was real “Helen of Troy” pussy.
–Bedford Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: the fiend
Woman #1: On days as hot as this, it’s okay not to wear panties!
Woman #2: I don’t know about that. I like to keep it all in there.
Woman #3: Yeah, I agree. I don’t want anything to be drippin’.
–Willoughby & Carlton, Brooklyn
Overheard by: BZD
Hipster girl: You know what? You cook the way I do art.
Hipster guy: Huh?
Hipster girl: You don’t do it unless it’s perfect.
Hipster guy: That’s true.
–dinner party, Greenpoint
Overheard by: Suparna
Little boy, to passerby: That’s why I ejaculated in your mom’s nose!
–Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Chick: See, I don’t like the idea of drinking semen not directly from the cock.
–Harlem
Overheard by: McN
Keen observer: They’re fuckin’ cowards, man! Mountain lions are cowards, too.
–12th & Bedford, Brooklyn
Loud girl on cell: Well don’t ask me! I don’t know anything about the mechanics of whale sex!
–9th Ave
Subway conductor: Please enter the train as human beings, not wild animals.
–23rd St F station
Guy: Yeah that reminds me of my first time. He took me to dinner but was too nice and perfect. Then in bed he made animal noises and his cat was like between us and he didn’t kick it out of bed.
–Nowhere bar, 14th St between 1st and 2nd
Queer #1: It’s not queer pride. It’s Brooklyn pride!
Queer #2: Uh, sweetie, it’s pretty queer, too.
–Brooklyn Pride Parade
Overheard by: fureigh
