If Wednesday One-Liners Can Make It Here, They Can Make It Anywhere

Chick: Nothing says New York like a wire frog.

–Battery Park

Lady who has loudly complained to the waiter about the poor service: It’s people like that who give New York City a bad name.

–Lindy’s, 7th Ave

Overheard by: joemikehap

Amateur anthropologist: Of course I have a snarky attitude! I’m a New Yorker; it’s practically a requirement!

–F train

Overheard by: Braincurve

Tourist on cell: Yeah! I’m in New York! Yeah, it’s kinda like New Orleans, except bigger and you can’t drink in the streets.

–Grand Central

Man on bicycle: New York is about freedom! Suck a dick!

–Astor Place

Overheard by: Laura

Guy watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre trailer: See, that’s why I never leave New York. You never see crazy motherfuckers like that in New York…except for niggas on the train.

–Regal Cinemas, Court St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Clitoris Rex

Little girl: There’s a lot of people in this New York City!

–Times Square

Posted on August 23, 2006
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Animals & Nature, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Etiquette, Grand Central, History & Geography, Lower Manhattan, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movie Theaters, Movies, On Cell, On the Subway, Only in New York, Penis, Pop Culture, Private Parts, Public Transportation, Restaurants & Cafes, Times Square, Tourism, Tourists, Trains Not Subway, Travel, U.S. Geography, Union Square and East Village, Waiters

Wednesday One-Liners Think ‘Un’ Is Also a Kind of Faithful

Ghetto guy: She know she got a man, but she’ll still gimme some. She know that!

–7 train

Young woman, screaming at young man: I dare you to fuck someone else again! I dare you!… You better not fuck anyone else! You better not!

–Hoyt-Schermerhorn station, Brooklyn

Queer on cell: Since when has your gaping hole decided to be faithful to your boyfriend?

–Union Square

Overheard by: Keith

Walking VD: When I first met you seven months ago I was kinda in another relationship. But now that that’s over, wanna get back in bed?

–32nd & 7th

Cop: So I’m fucking his wife for 6 years, and now he complains!

–238th & Broadway

Overheard by: Miriam

Posted on August 23, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asshole, Brooklyn, Cops, Dating, Hook Ups, Infidelity, Manhattan, Marriage, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, Penn Station, People, Pick-up Lines, Places, Private Parts, Queers, Sex, Sex & Relationships, The Bronx, Topics, Union Square and East Village, Women

Because No Spain Is an Island Entire of Itself?

Girlfriend: Spain is an island! With Portugal!
Boyfriend: Look, why do you wanna talk about this?

–Fort Hamilton Parkway, Brooklyn

Overheard by: jcm

Posted on August 18, 2006
Brooklyn, Couples, Global Geography

How Do You Explain Madonna Then, Smart Guy?

Dad: Like Groucho is called Groucho because he’s grouchy, Chico because he’s cheeky.
Son: And Zeppo!
Dad: Yeah, because he’s an idiot.

–8th St & 5th Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Joe

Posted on August 17, 2006
Brooklyn, Dads, Kids, Names

Assumptions: They Make an Ass Out of U and Social Workers

Lady: Hey, how do I get to Court Street?
Hobo: Two blocks that way…See, we’re not all that bad. You got any change?
Lady: No, I know. Shut up. I’m a social worker.

–Brooklyn Heights

Posted on August 15, 2006
Assholes, Brooklyn, Directions, Hobos

At the Sanitarium, Mad Crab Legs Was to Encounter Mad Horny, Her Arch-Nemesis

Black woman #1: I love crab legs. I’ma go home tonight and cook mad crab legs and suck the meat out.
Black woman #2: Fuck dat, I’ma go to Coney Island, get some clams. Put some hot sauce and some butter on that shits. Go home and get freaky with my old man. Shellfish get me mad horny.

–Brooklyn Family Court

Posted on August 14, 2006
Black People, Brooklyn, Food, Horny

The Self-Loathing Is Also Strongly Suggestive

Jewish boy: If I wasn’t Jewish and saw Passion of the Christ, I’d walk out of the theaters screaming, “Let’s kill those Jews for killing our Lord and Savior!”
Black woman: Boy, you shouldn’t be goin’ ’round screaming that.
Jewish boy: Um, but I am Jewish.
Black woman: How am I ‘sposed to know that?
Jewish boy: By the fucking thing on my head and the fact that I keep checking for my wallet every second I’m talking to you.

–Brooklyn College

Overheard by: David

Posted on August 12, 2006
Black People, Brooklyn, Jews, Movies, Religion

Wednesday One-Liners Built the Tower of Babel

Guy: Hey! Where’s my Sudanese pussy from Chinatown?

–14th & University

Guy on cell: I’ll meet you at the corner by the store with Chinese writing…Hey, wait a minute. All the fucking signs around here have Chinese writing.

–Walker & Lafayette

Overheard by: Wolf

Guy on cell: So, if this is true, then Dracula’s native language would be Hungarian rather than Romanian. And I think that is important for my research.

–Anthology Film Archives, 2nd St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: nosy cinephile

Teen girl: This bag is mad Aztec.

–13th & University

Co-Worker: So, did she mention anything about Mexicans?

–Office, W 36th St

Overheard by: Evan

Well-Traveled girl: Mexico is not a Third-World country. JFK is.

–Tea Lounge, Park Slope

Small child: Mommy, look! You can tell he’s Mexican by his eyes!

–Bodies exhibit, South Street Seaport

White girl, to Asian girl: So wait, is he just not Japanese or not interested?

–Walgreens, Union Square

Overheard by: Goldie

Businesswoman: Well you can’t kill a Vietnamese man because that would just cost too much.

–I Trulli restaurant, E 27th St

Hobo: You’re not Polish; you just think you’re Polish!

–Tompkins Square Park

Voice over intercom: Will the foreign exchange student please come to the cashier.

–Century 21

Sassy chick: I can’t believe she’s moving to fucking Cambodia to live with a fucking cricket-hunter she’s only known for two months!

–TGI Friday’s, 52nd & 7th

Overheard by: Shaina

Posted on August 9, 2006
Africans, All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Asians, Body Parts, Books & Writing, Brooklyn, Cashiers, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Chinatown, Death, Fashion, Foreigners, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, History & Geography, Hobos, Japanese, JFK Airport, Kids, Latinos, Manhattan, Men, Mexicans, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Money & Class, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, On Cell, Parents, Park Slope, People, Places, Pop Culture, Private Parts, Restaurants & Cafes, Store, Students, Suits, Teens, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Venues, Violence, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, White People, Women

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