Brooklyn queer #1: It’s like that time I had mono and sat on my stoop for three days, whittling wood.
Brooklyn queer #2: I swear to God, if you tell that story one more time I’m going to shoot myself.
–6th St & 5th Ave, Park Slope
Brooklyn queer #1: It’s like that time I had mono and sat on my stoop for three days, whittling wood.
Brooklyn queer #2: I swear to God, if you tell that story one more time I’m going to shoot myself.
–6th St & 5th Ave, Park Slope
Suit: Excuse me, do you know how to get to Wall Street?
Warehouse employee: Qué?
–Outside a shady warehouse, Bed-Stuy
Overheard by: sean
Drunk college kid: I had to read Grapes of Wrath. Which, by the way, has no grapes! Pissed me off!
–53rd & 7th
20-Something chick: Non fiction? That’s true stuff right?
–Barnes & Noble, 54th between 3rd & Park
Older sister, giving younger brother a book entitled Living in Sin: Here, this is all about you.
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Guy, to friend reading Dostoevsky’s The Idiot: Hey, is that your autobiography?
–Times Square
Overheard by: John
Ghetto white dude: Yo, that nigga is like Shakespeare. Mad gangsta.
–9th St & 4th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: shannon ramlochan
Guy: You can’t talk to me for half an hour about Chaucer and then tell me you have a boyfriend.
–St Mark’s & 3rd
Small girl, pointing at an advertisement for Little Man: Look, Grandpa! He looks like a little man!…He has a huge penis!
–189th St
Braggart: My penis is heavier than a full-sized gruyere cheese.
–Red Hook
Guy dressed as a penis, on cell: If you don’t get down to 14th and 6th in another 5 minutes, this is one dick you are not going to see!
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: Madhu Maganti
Guy: I’d give an inch of my dick for the fries at Les Halles. They’re that good!…Ok, maybe half an inch.
–Park Avenue & 29th Street
Overheard by: 11221
Teen boy on cell: Hey, it’s Big Daddy! You know, Big Daddy! You showed me your penis ring last night.
–Times Square
Overheard by: laura
Woman: Aaah! I’ve got baby penises in my eye!
–Sephora, Times Square
Girl: Ooh, she is going to be in so much trouble. She got caught smoking cock.
–Bed-Stuy
Black guy #1, noticing white guy walking down the street: Aw, man!
Black guy #2: There goes the neighborhood.
White guy: This is the cheapest rent in the city. You better believe my people are going to start moving here.
–Franklin Ave, Brooklyn
Dad, to little boy holding on to chain-link fence: Get off of that! You can’t climb on that!
Son: But why?
Dad: Because it’s art! And I said so.
–Empire-Fulton Ferry State Park, DUMBO
Overheard by: Lady
Hipster girl #1: I bet she had a frontal lobotomy.
Hipster girl #2: Really? I was thinking she might be slightly autistic.
Hipster girl #1: Maybe she’s just really happy.
–Court & Warren, Brooklyn
Tourist: I want to have sex. I’m old enough!
–Outside Cold Stone Creamery, 42nd St
20-Something frat boy: Ya know, something tells me my wife hasn’t even been born yet…
–6 train, Astor Place
Overheard by: Al
Young woman: If I were a pedophile, I would be the best pedophile ever because nobody would suspect me!
–6 train
Overheard by: Innocent bystander
Man, trying on glasses: No, these make me look like a pedophile.
–9th Street Optical, 9th St between 5th & 6th, Brooklyn
Chick on cell: Yes, I got fired at my job! Yes, I got fired at Barely Legal! I got tired of playing Twister in my pajamas.
–Airplane, LaGuardia Tarmac
Overheard by: Judy
Chick: Nothing says New York like a wire frog.
–Battery Park
Lady who has loudly complained to the waiter about the poor service: It’s people like that who give New York City a bad name.
–Lindy’s, 7th Ave
Overheard by: joemikehap
Amateur anthropologist: Of course I have a snarky attitude! I’m a New Yorker; it’s practically a requirement!
–F train
Overheard by: Braincurve
Tourist on cell: Yeah! I’m in New York! Yeah, it’s kinda like New Orleans, except bigger and you can’t drink in the streets.
–Grand Central
Man on bicycle: New York is about freedom! Suck a dick!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Laura
Guy watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre trailer: See, that’s why I never leave New York. You never see crazy motherfuckers like that in New York…except for niggas on the train.
–Regal Cinemas, Court St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Clitoris Rex
Little girl: There’s a lot of people in this New York City!
–Times Square
