Lady: Why are you wearing a St. John’s shirt? Do you go there?
13-year-old girl: It’s a college, Agnes.
Lady: Do you go there?
13-year-old girl: No, my sister does.
Lady: Then why isn’t she wearing it?
–McDonald’s, Francis Lewis Blvd & Willets Pt, Queens
Fortune teller: Excuse me, miss, where did you get your dress?
Pretty brunette: Don’t you know?
–Mulberry & Canal
Blonde on cell: I’m totally excited about getting out of the city and camping for the weekend… Yeah… Yeah… No, I packed like six pairs of underwear — there’s no way I’m going to run out like last time.
–F train
Overheard by: only in NYC
JAP: Yeah, I lost my underwear there last night.
–50th & 6th
80-year-old man on cell: I’m over in the lingerie department. I’m touching all the panties.
–Macy’s, Herald Square
Overheard by: Kate Melvin
Drunk chick: She doesn’t even wear a thong! It’s like she’s a dude or some shit.
–W 10th & Hudson
Middle-aged man: So tell me, how do I unhook a bra?
–Brooklyn Bridge
Overheard by: Walking the bridge
Girl: Ugh! Can I hang myself with your tie, please?
Guy: No! I love this tie!
–110th & Manhattan
Overheard by: Chrissy
Headline by: axc
Runners-Up:
· “But Here’s a Shoelace. And a Gun. And Some Pills…” – Laura
· “But I’m So Over This Kitchen Knife…” – Rod W
· “It’s Hard Getting That “Desparate Chick” Smell Out Of Your Laundry” – Dagre
· “It’s Not Like I’m Taking It with Me…” – mo
· “Lives Come and Go, But Argyle Is Forever” – Patrick
· “Use This Noose I Hate.” – pbump
Eight-year-old girl #1 while shopping for costume: Oooh! We can be a flasher! Let’s be a flasher!
Eight-year-old girl #2: Yeah! A flasher!
Mom: No, you cannot be a flasher. You can’t go to school dressed as a flasher.
Teen son: But I can!
–Costume store, 11th & 4th
Overheard by: Big E
Customer: I’d like to return this shirt. It fits me just right, but the tag says ‘Large,’ and I don’t wear a size Large.
Returns person: Okay, no problem.
–H&M, 34th & 7th
Overheard by: Andrea Reese
UES trophy wife #1, in black dress: … And the dress was only twenty-six hundred dollars!
UES trophy wife #2: Wow, that’s fabulous!
–David Burke & Donatella Restaurant
Lady suit: Do you know what your skirt is doing?
NYU student: Is it blowing up again?
Lady suit: Yes. Everyone can see your entire ass.
NYU student: You love it.
Lady suit, snorting: Not really.
–12th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jenna
Dad: If you want to be a cross dresser, I’m totally okay with that.
Son: Nice!
–Bloomingdale’s, 59th St
Overheard by: Bri
Male attorney: You’re wearing a dress? But you have to be in court today!
Female attorney: With as much respect as I have for the New York City supreme court judges, they’re lucky I’m wearing a dress. I should be wearing a… a… a bikini.
–Law office, Midtown
