College girl: Oh, I’ve never taken an elevator before.
College guy: Oh, great! Well, you’re in for a real treat.
–St. John’s University, Queens campus
Overheard by: Phillyblunt
College girl: Oh, I’ve never taken an elevator before.
College guy: Oh, great! Well, you’re in for a real treat.
–St. John’s University, Queens campus
Overheard by: Phillyblunt
Sorostitute #1: Remember that freshman I hooked up with? He friended me on Facebook!
Sorostitute #2: Oh, that’s coo– Wait a minute. Isn’t that a little backwards?
Sorostitute #3: Uh, yeah. Here’s how that should have gone: you meet him, he friends you on Facebook, and then you let him fuck you in the ass.
–Wagner College
Ghetto chick #1: When I have kids I’m going to beat them.
Ghetto chick #2: Yeah, my mama and daddy beat me, and it showed me right.
Ghetto chick #1: Me, too. I came out fine.
Ghetto chick #2: You know what happens when you don’t beat your kids? Columbine.
–Pace University, Spruce St
Overheard by: cleybold
Girl #1, studying for math exam: I still don’t get it.
Girl #2: What I’m saying is that this statement has nothing to do with a croissant coming out of my ass.
Girl #1: Oh, okay.
Girl #2: Yeah, that’s the only way I can remember how to do the problem.
–Marymount Manhattan College
Guy: Do you think you’d be able to take a dead fetus on a plane?
Girl: Maybe on a domestic flight.
–Barnard dorm
Overheard by: babs standigio
Chick: Have you ever read Catch 22?
Guy: Was it written by Dr. Seuss?
Chick: No.
Guy: Then no.
–Pace University
Overheard by: Hugh
Dude #1: We need more females for spring break… Who else can we invite? Nicole?
Dude #2: But then Joe will have to come, and I don’t care for him.
Dude #1: Julie says he’s changed since high school, though. Like, matured.
Dude #2: Hmmm, interesting.
Dude #1: Yeah, food for thought… Or for starving children in Somalia.
–St. John’s University
Overheard by: Peter G.
Professor: … So metaphorically speaking, that’s why the descent into the subway is like going to Hell.
Student: That’s ridiculous.
Professor: Really? Why not? It’s very hot and sweaty down there, not to mention if you fall onto the tracks or touch the third rail, you’re dead.
Student: What’s wrong with being dead?
–Borough of Manhattan Community College
Overheard by: vic
Student #1: Do you have a light?
Student #2: No. Do you have a cigarette?
Student #1: No.
–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Redhead: I wish I was a pirate.
Brunette: No, you don’t. Pirates are dirty. They don’t have toothbrushes.
Redhead: Yeah… But they drink so much alcohol that it kills the bacteria in their mouths anyway.
Brunette: Really? Well, they still don’t have health insurance…
–FIT dorm
