… And I Lost My Life Savings!

Intern #1: This job blows.
Intern #2: Yeah, today I felt like an Enron employee… I shredded documents for like three hours.

–Broad & Stone, Financial District

Posted on March 15, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Coworkers, Default, Gripes, Jobs & Careers, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Why Wouldn’t It?

Tourist: Excuse me, does the F train stop here?
Employee: Are you kidding me?

–Subway restaurant, Houston & Lafayette

Posted on March 10, 2008
Comebacks, Coworkers, Default, Public Transportation, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Tourists

Also Has a Kid Like That at Home

Employee: So, it’ll be done in about a week.
Woman with Jamaican accent: Be careful. My computer’s special. It fell off the truck.

–Computer store, Flatbush Ave

Overheard by: diane

Posted on March 2, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Store, Stupidity, Time, Women

We Were Playing Magic: The Gathering and My Hand Slipped

Mac specialist #1: Hey, what’s up, man?
Mac specialist #2: Not much, man. Take a look at this [holds up his pinky finger, looking disgusted].
Mac specialist #1: What is that?
Mac specialist #2: I think I fingered somebody.
Mac specialist #1: No!

–Apple, 5th Ave

Posted on February 18, 2008
Body Parts, Coworkers, Default, Store

He Prefers You Barefoot and Pregnant

Hardhat #1: God don’t care if you wearin’ a choir robe.
Hardhat #2: Tha’s right.
Hardhat #1: God don’t care if you dressed like a priest.
Hardhat #2: Tha’s right.
Hardhat #1: Because God don’t care how you dressed.

–97th & Riverside Dr

Headline by: 6th Floor Blogger

Runners-Up:
· “God Would Prefer That You Remove the Ball-Gag During Communion” – dan
· “That’s Right. But Could You Please Put on Some Pants?” – Babakganoosh
· “The Undiscovered 11th Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Wear Crocs” – Meg
· “To Sum Up: God Loves Strippers.” – RaindanceRichard

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on February 14, 2008
Blue-collar workers, Clothing, Coworkers, Headline Contest Winners, Religion

Two Hours of Me Scratching My Armpits Would Be Better Than Waterworld

Employee #1 sinking dejectedly next to bookshelf: There should be a movie of my life.
Employee #2: That would be the worst movie ever.
Employee #1: Heyyy!

–The Strand

Posted on February 10, 2008
Coworkers, Insults, Movies, Store

Almost As Skinny As My Conscience

Executive: You know, when you have a lot of money, you buy a lot of things you don’t need or don’t even ever use.
Associate: I know. I know exactly what you mean.
Executive: I mean, I buy clothes sometimes that I’ve never even worn. I give a lot of them to my housekeeper.
Associate: Me, too. I give my small clothes to my housekeeper — he’s very skinny.

–Crosby & Spring

Overheard by: Lowly Laborer

Posted on February 3, 2008
Coworkers, Gifts, Money & Class, Soho

There’s No Right Time to See “Losing Louie”

Overdressed ticket agent: So, Losing Louie got awful reviews, but if we’ve learned nothing else, it’s to never see a show about a funeral the day after a funeral.
Appropriately dressed ticket agent: Yeah, that must be rough… Like that time I saw Wicked right after my friend melted.

–915 Broadway