Coworker, about Dick Clark's New Year's Eve: For people our age it's just not New Year's until we see Dick.

Sanford, Florida

Comic book artist: Is the word “stab” or “poink” best for a dog nose being inserted into someone's butt?
Group of coworkers in unison, very serious: “Poink,” definitely.

Portland, Oregon

Younger heavy metal guy with older coworkers: I never find the right size of long johns in the winter, so I buy women's tights instead. (older coworkers look at him in shock) What? I was kidding! Morning humor, you know.
Macho guy sitting behind: Yeah, women's tights make your junk look bigger!

Commuter Train

Overheard by: strictly boxers.

NASA intern guy: So, is frosting evil, too? Just like something was evil yesterday… What was it? Something fluffy and ugly… Like flamingos, or something.

NASA Ames Research Center
Moffett Field, California

Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl

Woman to coworker: You'd think if they were going to decapitate someone they wouldn't hide the evidence in their rear window.

West Lebanon, New Hampshire

Receptionist to executive assistant: …so in conclusion, I got peed on…by a taxi driver…who I dated.

Overheard by: Ian

Cashier #1: So, do you think Ms. Rachel is pregnant, like Missy said?
Cashier #2: No, Missy is always so full of it.
Cashier #1: Yeah, that’s what I thought. I mean, if Ms. Rachel was pregnant, she wouldn’t be messing around with pig’s blood still.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Overheard by: In agreement, although disturbed

Drugstore cashier to another: Are the firemen here to shop? Or is someone down again?

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: jamjam

Male Wal-Mart employee to female coworker: Come on, what's your problem? (smiles at her)
Female coworker: I can't smile. I work here.

Overheard by: A. Lil

Coworker #1: So, did you ever figure out what was biting you?
Coworker #2: Yeah, the clinic said it was bedbugs. And I'm like, “Bedbugs?!” It's not like I have dead bodies layin' around, or anything.

Biloxi, Mississippi

Overheard by: so, where are they?